2007 November | Kaiser Mommy

Archive for November, 2007

Nov 30

Blog Housekeeping

Happy Friday!

Just touching base -

- If I’m on your blogroll and you aren’t on mine, it’s an oversight on my part. Let me know and I’ll fix it – I’m still keeping with my original blogroll philosophy.

- To my lurkers – say hello and I’ll come read your blog. Luvs ya.

- This week, Alex probably thinks his middle name is NO! As in Alex NO! Which I’m proud that it hasn’t been Alex DAMMIT! Because SERIOUSLY what kid can successfully climb stairs at 7 months? Um, mine.

- I have a new meme in mind … I’m trying to work it out in my head … and yes, I just want to be as cool as Lotus. Stay tuned and lets see if I can come up with some fun too…

- question for you – how do you tell if a baby is warm enough or too warm at night? Alex has been sleeping for $#!+ for two nights now (and I’m betting I’m in for a third) because of developmental milestones, adjusting to nursing instead of bottles, teething and today we got shots (speaking of shots… I could use a few from the liquor cabinet…) I’m trying to at least rule out *something*. So tell me, in all your wisdom – how do YOU tell if baby is too warm, too cool, or just right?

Have a great weekend ya’ll!

21
comments

Posted in Kaiser Mommy

Nov 29

NaNoWriMo Wrap up

It’s done. Well. It’s done for now.

I’ll put chunks of it up for you to read for the parts that are okay, once it starts to wander – in true NaNo unedited style – I will spare you.

My drive for writing this particular story is that I’m so invested in the history of my family – to me, anything resembling theology isn’t the point, it’s just the means to get me the setting I need. I have spent so much time collecting names and dates – but I wanted to humanize the stories. So, things like the names and births and deaths that you’ve read so far – that happened, that’s all real – I just don’t know the stories behind them, but I can imagine…

I’ve learned a lot, just from taking the time to do some simple math.

Like I didn’t realize that my great great grandmother Ellen was 15 when she married.

Or that another spent a span of 23 years more often pregnant than not.

Or that my great great grandmother Abby had her first daughter die while she was pregnant with her second, and that her husband died 16 days before she delivered her fourth daughter.

I’ve always known of these women in my family because their photos were on our walls, and most of my mom’s side of the family is buried in 2 cemeteries within a couple of miles of each other – I’ve always known these names.

DNA passes from mother to daughter and from father to son. There’s a lot of to-do about genetic DNA testing to find halotypes to match family genealogies. Which this has really brought to my attention that I am the last female in my mom’s family – the DNA of several women terminates with me – I am the end of a branch of the family started in 1866 with the birth of my great great grandma Abby. Things end with me. The feeling of being in a matriarchal family, filled with strong women – I am the last – It’s the thing that makes me second guess not having any more children.

I wanted to get to know these stories better. To find the humanity. It was going well and then …

My great great grandma Ellen had a boy named Sheridan – I knew he died young, but I did the math – and none of this was fun anymore. Not for now. Sheridan was 7 months old when he died. Which didn’t seem like anything … I kind of already knew it … he was a baby, he died … okay … lots of babies died back then. It didn’t hit me … It wasn’t personal … I couldn’t relate …
But … now … Alex is 7 months old. I know what Alex does – I know how he crawls and laughs and smiles at me – I know what his voice sounds like – I know how he eats – How he pulls up, how he wants to see every. thing. I. am. doing. I know how he’s daily more of a little person – his own little person. And now I know that little Sheridan mattered. He wasn’t just another number – he was his own little person too – and …

I have no words. I got what I was looking for – I found the humanity – I’ll do more with the story at some point, but for now I’ve done what I set out to do, and I need to set it aside – I think I got more than I bargained for. And it kind of hurts.

17
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Posted in NaNoWriMonday

Nov 28

Enough – Part Two

Now, I would LOVE to have a perfectly decorated house right now. I would love to have a big tree that smells wonderful, and the halls to be deck and boughs of holly, and beautiful Christmas cards that I made myself, and a stack of perfect presents for Scout and Alex … and yes, for me … I’d love everything to be coordinated and putting Martha Stewart and the mother of Red – Soon to be Mrs. Tater to shame.

But, I also love not having migraines, I also love not having a credit card balance for the first time in 11 years, I love having two vehicles paid off, I love knowing that I didn’t kill a tree just to look at it for a month and then have to vacuum the needles off the floor. (Hotfessional will totally understand.)

Who am I kidding? I don’t do the vacuuming in this house.

(That bit of honesty is so Scout will continue to love me.)

A couple of years ago, we decided to not put up our big tree. We didn’t have room for it and we decided we’d rather not spent a month cussing that the tree was taking up space in our living room. Scout went out and bought an 18 inch silver prelit tree, and I perversely love it more than any other tree I have ever had. We decided this year, even though we have the room, that it would just be easier to not be pulling the Kaiser out of the tree – so we again are using tiny tree. (I’ll post a picture at some point, but right now the tree is sitting on a builtin with a bunch of DVDs around it – and while I’m working on not being all clenched about perfection – I would like you to think I can keep a somewhat pretty home – hahahaha.)

Otherwise, decorating will be simple – we’ll get the decorations all in one place (they are scattered through the house because of weird labeling while we were moving – a whole other story) – we will get them up – and we won’t spend any more money on decorations this year. Okay – other than the 6 dollars spent on stocking hangers.

Tell me, are you a minimalist at Christmas or do you all out decorate? Are you happy with your choice?

26
comments

Posted in Domestic Goddess

Nov 27

Enough – Part One

So, it’s that time of year where everyone thinks about overindulgence. We’ve made it through Black Friday, we’re in the full swing of gift giving holidays. We have neighbors who have holiday crap that has apparently thrown up on their lawn, so covered in decorations it is.

I’ve been loving Unplug Your Kids, even more than usual because she’s been talking about holiday madness and she echoes a lot of how I feel about things. However, she’s way cooler and already at the point of knowing how to make some changes whereas I’m still sitting here going “huh… I’d like to make a change … but first … PIE!”

I grew up between two homes. At Christmas time, we got the gigantic Christmas catalogs and sat down and made lists of what we wanted. The tree was always real, the presents were always piled high. Even if my step-mom had busted her ass getting everything wrapped the night before, for us to just rip apart and throw away bags of paper a few hours later. It was always a Big Deal with presents and such.

My mom’s house was different. We never had a real tree, we had a Norfolk Pine that we’d decorate with little ornaments, and once that tree died after having it for several years, she decorated the mother in law tongue plant. She never asked me what I wanted for Christmas, there were never stacks of presents, I once got to open one present early – and that was my winter coat that I needed to be able to leave the house when we’d gotten a lot of snow.

With the exception of a couple of years, I liked the smaller Christmas much much better.

Now that I’m “the mom” I feel like I’m responsible for Alex growing up with good memories and traditions. Not that Scout doesn’t feel responsible, I just ponder this kind of stuff more than he does.

So, for the next little while, I know I’m going to be talking about the idea of “enough” in my life. I promise it’ll be random I know you aren’t surprised.

17
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Posted in Domestic Goddess

Nov 26

Time to Harass the Lotus

Head on over here and verbally pet Lotus’s rack.

You know you want to … go on … do it…

5
comments

Posted in Kaiser Mommy

Nov 26

NaNoWriMonday – 1:3

Beginning

?��Ǩ?�I should not speak of it, but I was. I always pictured that the Almighty was a Heavenly Father. It should not matter if the Almighty has a male or female form. The Almighty is greater than anything we can picture.?��Ǩ�� She straightened in her seat as she said this. Ever concerned that she let her audience know that God, in any form, was nothing to trifile with or question.

?��Ǩ?�Mother, were you surprised??��Ǩ��

?��Ǩ?�Yes, Leta, if you must know, I was surprised. But it doesn?��Ǩ�Ѣt *matter*.?��Ǩ��

?��Ǩ?�It *shouldn?��Ǩ�Ѣt* matter, Mother. But after spending your 72 years picturing God as one way, was it hard to change your perception??��Ǩ��

?��Ǩ?�No, because it made perfect sense, once I was here. Once I saw her shining face. It has always been the procession of mother to daughter that has been the strongest bond in the world, the most important link to how the world continues to carry on.?��Ǩ��

?��Ǩ?�Was you life so very painful that it was a relief to finally be done with it??��Ǩ�� Leta asked, feeling bold on this crisp, sunny morning. Asking questions that she normally wouldn?��Ǩ�Ѣt ask.

?��Ǩ?�My life is not done. We are living eternally with the Heavenly Mother, Leta.?��Ǩ�� Abby gently chided.

Leta stifled a sigh. Conversations with her mother always went like this. She was so concerend that anything she said might just give her listener the idea that the free will she was granted would lead to free thought, which might lead to possibly questioning that sometimes God was just a big old toad with warts and slime and just because it was God?��Ǩ�Ѣs way meant that human suffering could, for a moment overcome faith. It had always frustrated Leta to never have the opportunity to question. To wonder out loud the questions, that, in the end, might just lead her closer to the Mother. To the mothers. Her earthly one and her heavenly one.

Abby considered her daughter?��Ǩ�Ѣs face. She knew what she was asking. She took a breath, and said a silent prayer that her words would be the right ones. She was always concerned with saying the right words, doing the right thing. Her daughter had never understood, but her granddaughter, Leta?��Ǩ�Ѣs daughter, understood perfectly.

?��Ǩ?�I was pregnant with Grace when Glenna died, Leta. In those days, being pregnant was harder than it was for you. I was expected to stay in the house for my confinement. There were no clothes I could wear. Glenna got sick, your father rode for the doctor – but he had to ride far, because Dr. Welch had died and no one had come to replace him. I was alone in the house, so pregnant with Grace, holding Glennie in my lap. I rocked her as she coughed, and I held her while she took her last breaths. As she died in my arms, as I felt that I failed so completely, as I felt dispair and pain settle in my heart, in my very soul, for the first time, I also felt Grace stirring in me. I felt her moving gently as if to say that there was still grace and love in the world. I clung to that comfort. I clung to that proof that there was a God and she loved me, no matter what. I felt Glennie?��Ǩ�Ѣs soul connect with my own one complete time, I felt her touch Grace and I knew Grace?��Ǩ�Ѣs name for the first time.?��Ǩ�� Abby paused here. Setting her face into steady lines to show her steadfastness in this belief.

Next entry?Ǭ�

8
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Posted in NaNoWriMonday

Nov 25

Weekly Winners – Photos

Week Two of Lotus’ weekly winners meme.

Why this picture? Because this bit of blissful baby sleep is after he nursed all day long. Nursed. NURSED. Every. Time. All. Day. Not just a little snack, but like, “Good Lord, Mommy, where have these things been all my life?”

And … because … he’s just beautiful in this shot …

And it’s such a nice complement to *this* little raspberry blowing devil shot

24
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Posted in Weekly Winners

Nov 24

Friendship Award

I got this award from Mrs. Flipphead – which is really humbling to me because she’s spent a whole lot of time talking me out of my crazy tree created by the head baby of Camp Sleep is for Losers.

This week, this award is meant for two people. Which isn’t to say that they are the *only* two who I want to give this to, but this week, it’s how I can say thank you to them.

Dear Lotus, with your scat humor, lovely boy, yahoo chat account and knowledge of my family – this award is for you.

VDog, with your late night emails (late night for me anyway), Gymboree jammies, BlogHer 08 temptations and general getting of my back – this award is for you.

7
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Posted in Kaiser Mommy

Nov 23

7 Things Meme

Got tagged, twice which was funny, because I’d been thinking of answers to this meme – then got tagged and promptly forgot about all the genius things I’d thought of to say.

Here are the rules:

1 – Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2 – Share seven random and/or weird things about yourself.
3 – Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4 – Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. The two blogs I have read all of the archives on are Pioneer Woman and A Little Pregnant

2. My shoe size is 9.5 – 10. I adore shoes, but have gotten practical (ahem: boring) and don’t buy many. Which isn’t to say I don’t want to. I do. Very, very much.

3. People who comment on my blog get put in my reader. You read me, I will read you. Just something to think about all you lurky lurkers out there. Seriously, say hello. I won’t bite. Unless you are covered in Thanksgiving leftovers.

4. I don’t know how to pray the Anglican/Episcopal rosary, but I really want one of these.

5. If money were no object, our house would be decorated in Arts and Crafts style – probably with furniture from here.

6. My grandma is 94 years old today. She’s a little weak, and her hearing … well, let’s just say the fire alarm went off one year and she thought it was her hearing aid squealing. Otherwise, the woman is amazingly healthy.

7. NaBloMe month has started to take its toll on me. I’m running out of ideas. I need ya’ll to ask me questions or give me some idea of what you want to read. I need you, gentle reader.

I’m tagging all the preppy girls:

1. Mary Alice – aka Bootsy

2. Magpie – aka Cricket
3. Jackie – aka Topsy

4. Flutter – aka Tibby

5. Arkie Mama – aka Mimi

6. Slouching Mom – aka Cece

7. Lotus - aka Bootsy

16
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Posted in Kaiser Mommy

Nov 22

I’m thankful for blogging

There’s no way I’m going to be as eloquent as this topic deserves, but this post has been rolling around for a while, and today is the right day to set it to words. Please bear with me here.

***

I started reading blogs while I was pumping. It gave me something to focus on to pass the time of the at least two hours a day I spend listening to the WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR of the slightly quieter than a jet engine pump. People shake their heads in amazement that I can pump without losing my mind – I credit blogs with how I’ve kept my sanity the last 7 months. Reading you has kept me connected to the world when I would have rather spent all of our retirement on baby clothes and house stuff. You keep me distracted and keep my son breastfed. That’s a good gift.

***

Blogging helped me accidentally find a friend I haven’t talked to in years. Not just any friend, but the daughter of my mom’s best friend from college. (I keep meaning to blog that story!)

***

The first time I ever commented on Veronica’s blog it was answering her question about why people don’t support her choice to be a young mother. She’s *coughcough* years younger than me, and she’s the one who pointed out that babies aren’t supposed to eat strawberries. Um. Oops. She’s got her act together loads better than me almost every single day. Motherhood is about taking responsibility and making thoughtful choices, and she does it well.

Reading Kami’s blog, and the waiting for Keaton, reinforced for me that I really do believe that family is about parents who love you, whatever the gender mix, and I think that little boy is the luckiest boy on the west coast this Thanksgiving Day.

I loved this post about the Spanish Story Hour by the FruitFemme. She worked through a language challenge (I hate to call it a barrier) and connected with another mom, helping out when the mom needed help.

Audubon Ron can make me laugh and teach my heart and mind more about my faith all in the same week.

This kind of stuff opens my eyes and helps teach me a valuable lesson.

We’re all in this together.

I might think I’m some disenfranchised, cynical, misanthrope. But I’m not alone.

My point of view? Eh. It’s mine. I could cling to my point of view on some subjects and never try to see another way of thinking.

But why? Why cling to one thought?

Why not look farther? Why not look closer? Why not look for how we are similar? Why not see if your way might just be better than my way? Why not learn something new?

The more blogs I read, the more I learn that the world isn’t looking for my approval, I might not always understand, but if I try, I might just come close. And really, the more I learn, the more I see that it’s really not my place to understand, it’s my job not to judge.

And if I can see another’s point of view in a blog, then how about outside my house? In the line at the grocery store? How about in traffic, where every effing driver is clearly NOT as smart or skilled as me on the road?

So this Thanksgiving Day, as I’m thankful for a plate full of white comfort food, being mostly settled in a home, my husband, and the Kaiser, I am thankful for all of you. All of you from around the world who take time out of your life to share your story. By sharing your stories, you are making me a better person, and “thank you” just isn’t big enough for how grateful I am for all of you this year.

Now I have to go rescue Kaiser, he’s crawled under the exersaucer again.

19
comments

Posted in Family

Nov 21

Travel and stuff….

So while I’m virtually sitting vigil with Lotus while she waits for John to make his way through the heinous flight schedule he has – I get this email from my mom:

Since it was about 70 degrees yesterday, the SNOW is melting when it hits the ground.

And I laughed. Actually I’m still laughing. I’m giggling. I can’t help it. It just so ridiculous!

3
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Posted in I have no idea

Nov 21

Tainted Love

Last week I read this post, which was entertaining and aggravating because we’ve all been there, it totally sucks when you get stuck next to someone anal on an airplane.

I clicked the link in the post … and when I saw what the link was about I got icky cold shivers and clicked away.

And then I got curious and I clicked back.

Then I put my fingers in my ears and started singing, “LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you!” until Alex looked at me like I was on crack and I realized that it was my EYES putting this information in my brain and not my ears, so all the singing in the world was not going to erase this image.

I mean, people, do what ya gotta do if everyone is up for it, but this ain’t an option in my repertoire. I know, I know, I’m a party pooper.

But I had to give it some thought – WHY is this thought so repellant to me, and it hit me like a brick over my head.

The only parts of my body that are all mine are my Mutt Bowl and my Armpits.

And no one has ever suggested that perhaps I’d like it if Scout got freaky with my pits.

The way I see it, my hair, shoulders, arms, hands, legs and feet all go into taking care of the baby. These parts are pulled on, sucked on, used to carry and used to transport the Kaiser all day long.

The entire world sees my face, and my eyes and ears are tuned into keeping the baby safe all day long.

My breasts feed the baby. When he’s not using them, Scout would like to cuddle them, pretty please.

My stomach housed the baby, and the baby left his mark all over its surface.

My lady bits allowed passage to get the baby into existence and into the world, and now Scout would like them back, pretty please.

So, Mutt Bowl and Armpits it is.

I feel the urge to burst into song.

Dawn TwoShews, and everyone else who feels particularly close to their Mutt Bowl – this one is for you.

M is for Mutt Bowl,

It’s where no one else can see!

M is for Mutt Bowl,

It sets all my to-ots free!

M is for Mutt Bowl,

Wipe front to ba-ack when you pee!

My Mutt Bowl, Mutt Bowl, Mutt Bowl’s

JUST FOR ME!

Okay, clever readers, help me bring it on home. Write a verse of your own! Here’s some rhyming help if you need it.

9
comments

Posted in Kaiser Mommy

Nov 20

Cheapa$$ part two

Oh here we go!

Now I’ll break it down (stop! hammer time!)

4 dollar peg rack from Michaels that I painted – sucky part was that it didn’t come with hanging brackets on the back so we had to hammer tiny little nails into the back to hold on the brackets.

Redneck bumper pad. Alex keeps backing out of the crib and he can’t figure out how to pull his leg back in. These are crib sheets from Scout’s baby bed. Yes, his mother kept them all these years.

And my favorite. I wanted to put his name on the wall because I’m a follower and that’s what all the cool kids do – but again with the cheap. I had the canvases already painted, I bought the little canvases and the letters for less than 20 bucks and sat and painted and watched football one Sunday.

Ah, one room mostly down. Rest of the house to go!

17
comments

Posted in Kaiser Mommy