I got some new bling and wanted to pass the love around.

Veronica sent this lovely my way:

Which originated here at Magneto Bold Too.

I’m passin’ this bad boy on to:

Jackie

MomChatter

Ewokmama

L-Squared

Natalie

Kelly O

Now go forth and multiply the Less than Three!

Happy Saturday – and remember next Saturday is the new year kick off Showin’ off on Saturday!

I lied. Here I ‘ku.

This time, I am the Walrus.

‘Ku, ‘Ku, Ka, Choo …. Choo.

Question: Anyone know anything about McAfee Site Adviser? Is this something that those of us who are self hosted should be buzzing about, or is it a bunch of blah?

So I’ve seen the “you comment, I follow” tags before, but I just found out what all that was about – I figure I can’t be the very, very last person on the planet to understand it, so I will refer to you IzzyMom to explain. And yes, I now have that plugin installed and if you’ve commented here ten times or more, then you should be getting page rank gold stars by your name every time you comment here till the end of time… if I’m understanding this right.

The other thing that I’m sure the planet knows about but I didn’t was that Scribbit has developed a custom search engine that searches the Momblogs – Check it out here. Nice eh? Why yes, yes it does search for kaiseralex.com She’s awesome like that

So there ya go. Two things I learned in the last week and have now passed on to you. My karma points should be balancing out all the nasty thoughts I’ve had lately …

… Sigh. Okay. I don’t want to dwell, but I’m gonna ask you to send positive vibes the way of Scout and Alex and I, and really the whole cluster smack of my family as it relates to my dad. Things are just hitting the fan all over, and we’re heading to what now feels like ground zero. So if you could send a good thought our way in whatever form you might do that (pray, clink your glass in a toast, dedicate an orgasm, or ya know, whatever floats your boat) – I’d sure appreciate it. I’d like to be the person ya’ll told me I was last week. I just sure don’t feel like her right now.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts on the blogrolling thing last week. I learned that blogrolls are used for props, in place of readers (like g00gle or bloglines), are dusty and forgotten, are reciprocal, are advertising, are awesome, are overlooked, and that Ron was a model and Adamick is a pervy stalker. Wait – one of those things I already knew….

The whole high school analogy started in my head when I started thinking of BlogHer 08, and remembered reflections on BlogHer 07.

I was far from the conference, I was barely blogging at the time, so BlogHer 07 wasn’t on my radar, other than seeing the bling on many many sites. After it was over, I saw several reflections on hurt feelings, or cliquishness (wow, that’s apparently a word), or lack of circulating. Also on sisterhood and mothers and fun and a bunch of people with some stinky cheese and scary doors on the bathroom in the hotel and how no one could do their biz because there wasn’t any privacy.

I wondered who I would be. Where I would fit in. How would I react?

I mean, seriously, what a weird conference. You place yourself in a room full of women – some who you know EVERYTHING about (let’s face it, we. are not. discreet.) but yet you do not know. It’s hard to tell what someone really looks like – I’ve seen a ton of photos of some of ya’ll and you look different in every single one. You can only tell so much from a photo. So here you are, new place, new people, and hello with the awkward.

I would love to say that I would be the includer, that I would be seeking out people and making everyone feel welcome. I’d love to feel secure in knowing that I would be the same person in person as I am on screen. But, I’ve met me, (a few times) and I’m afraid that I’d be overcome with shyness, and I wouldn’t mingle well at all.

There’s a pull to go though … and when all the dust was settling from last years conference … four months later, I remember this post.

And I’ve thought of that “heart-friend love” that HBM talks about for four months now. I totally understand that. Thinking of that perspective and realizing that everyone is trying to soak up enough of that heart-friend love to make it through to the next time, makes me think it would be worth going. Even if I sat on the sidelines and watched. Even if I just bit my nails off a little bit more. Even if I awkwardly said hello when I was longing to throw my arms around my own “heart-friend love” people. I’m just afraid of being a spaz and getting to the end of it and feeling like I should have done it all better …

But… we’re thinking about it … thinking about making a family vacation out of the trip – doing the Northern Cali thing. Then I could go jump this particular heart-friend (who is gone on vacation this week and I MISS HER, OMW, I MISS HER – boo hoo), and maybe the speakeasy boys would take Scout on a three way man date (dude, that just sounded dir-tay!)

Sexy hair, fuzzy slippers, and undies hanging out – may your day be this decadent too!

Oh yeah baby!

Mitch McDad sparked the memory – I have to give in and tell the stories.

—

It was the first Christmas Eve that Scout and I spent together. We sat round the table eating dinner, and I had just sunk my teeth into a cookie when his mother said:

“We were halfway through Iowa when we realized we left the vibrator at home!”

Now, I like a sitcom actress sat with my teeth settled in that cookie, fearing to move at all.

Turns out what she meant was that they had some sort of back rub apparatus that plugged into the wall and vibrated. But Dear God! the visual!

—

Which took my train of thought game to my second story.

We were all gathered around my grandma as she unwrapped her Christmas presents. One present was one of those massage pads that you put in a chair that is supposed to do shiatsu or some sh… anyway.

The pad was plugged in and as it roared up it’s BUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ! Each grandchild in the room started glancing nervously at another – until we started that flicker of recognition with each other and started to laugh.

Apparently, my family is big into “the toys”. Or our minds are all in the gutter. Or both.

—

My final story took place as I worked in the lingerie section of a major department store on Christmas Eve one year. (Jennifer – we’re talking Famous Barr at the mall) We had the standard bras, underwear, nightgowns and robes, but in the back was a tacky little rack filled with icky scratchy underthings that just looked so uncomfortable that OF COURSE you would immediately want them off your body to save you from the chafing.

So this rather rough, unsavory looking character comes up to the register with one of these items in his hand. I start ringing it up, one eye on the clock that was counting down the last 15 minutes of the shift when his words broke through:

“Ah thought ’bout buyin’ two o’ these.”

I really didn’t have any reply.

“This’n mahght git all tore up.”

And I REALLY didn’t have any reply!

So. I’ve been known to share some of the cooler things I’ve been able to pull off … which I realized might just be construed as … showin’ off.

And showin’ off alone isn’t NEARLY as much fun as showin’ off with your friends.

(Right Ivy?)

So, here’s my brainchild – Whenever I find something to show off about, I’m gonna invite YOU to show off with me too. I’ll show off on a Saturday and then give you till the next Saturday to show off with me.

And I’ll have prizes. Cuz we all like prizes. Now I can’t say that all my prizes will be awesome like this, they might be more hilarious like this. But you’ll know in advance what you are working for mmkay?

So for the first “Showin’ off on Saturday” project, I have nothing to show off – but you just might.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1. Make a piece of bling pimpin’ out Showin’ off on Saturday.

2. Feel free to put something on there to take credit for designing the bling.

3. Post the bling on your site (in a post, a sidebar, on your rack, whatever you want), and direct it to this post.

4. Shoot me a comment or an email just to make sure I don’t miss the fact you have bling out there.

On Saturday, January 5th, I will post all the bling for people to grab their bling of choice and use on their own sites, and I will post the next Showin’ off on Saturday project.

(I’d put it up on Saturday, December 29th but we will be at my mom’s with (insert gasps of horror) dial up and I have no assurances that I’ll even be able to log on to my own freaking site from there, cuz kids? my MacBook isn’t even set up for a freaking phone cord.)

Go forth and bling make!

I figure when I get tagged twice, I gotta do it.

For Carrie and for MP, here I go.

1. I have the coolest Secret Blogger Santa ever. Go say hello to her. Now… I’ll wait.

2. While I go insane at the whole “politically correct” arena, I think people who use the word “retarded” and don’t know the actual common criteria of diagnosis of it must be a little … well ya know, themselves.

3. I also think people who use the word “gay” to describe something negative must be a little … well, see #2.

4. I have a birthmark on my hip that looks like a paw print.

5. Reading white type on a dark background effs up my eyes. It kinda hurts actually. (Just did this and I still see big optical illusion bars across my screen.)

6. Misspellings drive me insane.

7. I have a Restoration Hardware addiction. From where I sit, I can see slippers, robe, down blanket and bath towel set from there.

I tag no one. This was your free meme from me.

I was tagged for this Hoopla by Leendaluu, as dictated by the sacred vows we have sworn to its creatress, Andrea. So if you choose to carry on your duty here, you shall not refer to it as a m*m* but only as hoopla. Carry on. The rules (that sounds harsh for hoopla); rather the recommendations:

1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas.
2. Please refer to it as a ‘hoopla’ and not the dreaded ‘m’-word.
3. You have to specifically tag people when you’re done. None of this “if you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged” stuff is allowed…then nobody ends up actually doing it. The number of people who you tag is really up to you — but the more, the merrier to get this ‘hoopla’ circulating through the blogosphere.
4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be over before we know it and I’d like to get as many people involved as possible.
5. If you want to — please give me, Andrea, some link-love as the ‘Hoopla-Creator’.

Here I go.

1. I *refuse* to haul my @$$ all over hells half acre to see everyone at Christmas. I did enough of this from the time I was 6 to the time I was old enough to say ENOUGH. I will not do it now.

2. I put all 4 grandparents on a rotating list, they get us every 5 years. (We get a year at home alone too.) Upon death we get their year. I’m a Scrooge, I know, see #1.

3. I have everyone’s presents done for Christmas. Um. Except Alex and Scout. Sigh. I have NO ideas …. If I had a million dollars … well, I have your love, so I would still not know what to buy – but I’d buy you lots of stuff.

4. I adore Christmas letters. Every year, Scout and I write THE best letter that anyone ever reads at Christmas time. There is no room for humble here, it’s the truth.

5. I usually make our Christmas cards, this year I didn’t. If I would have gone for that perfection the cards would have gone out the same time as the rest of the thank you’s from Alex being born. (Yeah, I suck.)

6. If I really wanted to lose my mind, I’d buy Scout a Basset Hound. I just haven’t drank enough to decide I’m okay with a dog in the house.

7. I have all of my grandma’s ornaments. I love them all. Even the ratty plastic old ones.

8. My other grandma has one of those silver aluminum trees with the spinny color disk that shoots lights on the tree.

9. If travel weren’t an issue, I’d want us to surprise friends on Christmas morning, they have big stuff planned for their kids, and I’d love to see it.

10. My mom collects Santas and keeps them up all year.

11. I want to knit Alex a Santa hat.

12. My favorite Christmas food is noodles. Homemade by Grandma.

I tag:

Blogversary

bradley egel (not because I’m being a jerkoff, but because I want to know how this whole Christmas Hoopla affects my Jewish friends)

WalksFarWoman

Jackie

and

candace

No “Box in a Box”

Lotus says it will not work

I say you should try

(I saw this idea at The Bloggess yesterday … and Lotus, I made this sweater just for you.)