Oh sweet mercy. Remember the mighty battle cry? (Clicking the bling takes you to the original post.)
Remember this picture?
This has turned into a regular occurrence. I’ve gotta get my hawt back on.
Help me, help me. Send me links, give me advice. How do I find my hawt again? Where can it be?
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Previous
She reached her room and stood in the doorway, enjoying the sight of the simple double bed with the pineapple finials, the blue bordered butterfly quilt, the pillows that she knew would smell like home. She walked to the closet to change out of her dress and into a soft flannel nightgown, soft as material that had been washed many times, almost threadbare, but strong and not ready to wear out yet.
She looked down and saw a pair of black spectator sandals. These sandals were frivolous and high heeled. She thought they looked out of place int he simple house.
She bent down and with fingers still bent, but unencumbered by arthritis, picked up the shoes by their heels and sat on the end of the bed with them in her hands. She slowly put one on her left foot, it fit. This meant it would be too big for her right foot and it would never stay on. She lifted her right foot and the sandal slipped on. and fit. This made no sense, but so little had really seemed to make perfect sense in this first strange and exciting day of the rest of her afterlife that she put her feet on the ground and carefully stood up.
She looked at her feet and smiled. She was wearing pretty shoes. She took steps, careful steps.
Then she jumped. In heels. Which would have been folly, but her feet held. Her ankles held. her legs held.
And then she danced. Noisily. She clomped and tapped and swirled the skirt of her nightgown around her. She held her arms out at her sides and spun in circles. She laughed out loud, deep and enjoyably. She spun till she was dizzy and collapsed on the bed and hugged her pillow. She felt her heartbeat slowing to a steady regular thump. She breathed deeply, then she stood and danced again.
In other parts of the house, the other women heard the commotion, the clutter, the thumping and then the laughing. Each smiled and wiped a happy tear as they welcomed their new girl home with songs in their hearts. She was free from pain and here she was, dancing her way into Heaven. Just as she had always hoped.
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Originally posted April 27, 2007, and April 28, 2007.?Ǭ†
We survived the night – not really sure why we bought a crib though?¢‚Ǩ¬¶. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m apparently the mom who believes with all her heart that if she puts the baby in the crib and leaves the room to go upstairs and actually sleep or something that the breath bandits will come and take the baby?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s soul away. And one in the morning isn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t the time to be academic about such things. Thankfully I have this wonderful perfect husband who will hold the baby and let me go sleep though.
All in all a very good day. My milk came in something crazy, have fed Alex all day and had reserves. Of course he rips through the reserves when I nap – but the operative phrase in that sentence is ?¢‚Ǩ?ìwhen I nap?¢‚Ǩ¬ù – this means I get some sleep, and Daddy and Mimi get a chance to actually spend time with Alex too.
In a crazy related note – I feel like the coolest freaking person on the planet. I feel like that cocky confident early twenty something – I don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t know when I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve ever felt like this. I can do anything! (Except sleep more than two hours at a stretch!)
What I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve learned:
All things in the living room are available for DNA sampling: Breast milk and baby boy pee are attracted to two cushions on the couch, the ottoman and the new rug. One cushion and one chair are currently still DNA free – but probably not for long. Action Step: find all towels etc in house and cover all things absorbent with something that can go in washing machine absorbent.
Sleep deprive my husband and he will say the words ?¢‚Ǩ?ìblow job?¢‚Ǩ¬ù and drop the f bomb and refer to his parents as ?¢‚Ǩ?ìnutzo?¢‚Ǩ¬ù in front of his mother in law. Kick ass. Action Step: Keep him always sleepy.
Five hours of sleep is bliss. Action step: Repeat as often as possible.
Three sets of hands for one little boy – quite helpful. Action step: May not ever let Mom go home. (Which as long as my husband is sleep deprived he may not notice.)
If I want my dad to call: Have a baby, clearly hit the wall of exhaustion and then lay down to take a nap, JUST fall asleep. This is a guarantee apparently, proven with a sample size of 3/3 days. Action Step: Time to shut the ringer off when I nap.
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(clickin?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ the logo may take you to more haikus)
Three times larger now
Than one year ago today
Hi, Alex Year Two!
(new header by Carrie Koehmstedt)?Ǭ†
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Originally posted April 24, 2007.
oh yeah, that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s what the trip to Target for pasta sauce and some milk and some peanut butter turned into.
Spinal Tap, Veronica Mars S2, Scrubs S2, Friends S8, two different cake mixes, muffin mix, 3 kinds of ice cream, three boxes of jalapeno poppers, more chocolate, mac n cheese, chips, Milanos ?¢‚Ǩ¬¶. we did get the stuff we went in for – but holy crap all the other stuff! Scout?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s done with work too so we?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢re home for the duration.
The walking helped make things settle in, after the oven turns out some desserty goodness I think we may have to go walk through the neighborhood.
(Later)
Oh thank God, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve had contractions for the last 2 hours. About every 8 and a half minutes or so. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve had them laying down, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve had them sitting up, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve had them while moving around. Seem to have passed the test of ?¢‚Ǩ?ìif you change activity do they stop??¢‚Ǩ¬ù Going to go take a bath here in a bit – mostly just so I can shave what I can see (which face it, isn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t much) and get my hair washed and straightened. Think I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll go lay (lie?) down with Scout and Tavish for a bit, then eat, then bathe. Oh yeah, need to call and cancel that 840 am appt – I don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t think I need to go over there for an appt and then come home and then go back later today.
And believe me, being 291 days pregnant, and having faced the idea of all kinds of needles and chemicals and surgery for over a week – with every contraction, my reaction is pretty much along the lines of ?¢‚Ǩ?ìThank you sir, may I have another??¢‚Ǩ¬ù
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Previously posted April 22, 2007.?Ǭ†
(Dude, don’t taunt a pregnant lady – I’m surprised I wasn’t breathing fire I was so mad.)
Seriously, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m so pissed off about this that I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m convinced Alex will be born with horns.
I hate me, I hate Scout, I hate the baby, the cat has been smart enough to stay away from me so she?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s safe from the hate, I hate the grandparents (all of them. Both of my parents have had ?¢‚Ǩ?ìlovely?¢‚Ǩ¬ù conversations with me today. Serves them right for trying to talk to the savage beast.)
I feel like a fucking circus midget (that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s for Carrie) in a cage at the zoo, what with all the grandparents calling all the GD time. Once a day one of them is on the horn or the email ?¢‚Ǩ?ìjust checking in?¢‚Ǩ¬ù. I swear to God, if I ever lose my mind and decide and this is a good idea to get pregnant ever again, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m not telling the grandparents until the baby decides to show the hell up. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s like they are all afraid we?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll forget to call and tell them. Hate.
Otherwise, Kristen, I change my prior advice – call all the grandparents right now and tell them the docs set your due date back TWO weeks, not just one. I can not save myself, but you can still save yourself.
I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m also considering changing his name to Braxton Hicks instead of Alexander Jakob since that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s apparently his favorite thing in the universe.
Oh, and never fear, intermingled with all the hate is all the guilt that I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m a horrible fucking mother for feeling this way, causing irrepairable damage to my kid before he?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s even born. Never fear.
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Previous
Leta pointed across to the white house. ?¢‚Ǩ?ìThat was your home for so long. We have watched it and it has been an easy task to keep watch over your family as long as you were all there. Now you will find that the scenery will change from time to time, We will rarely see this particular scene, but tonight it is here because it is familiar and comforting to you, and tonight your family is nearby this place. Usually when we look out it will be to your girls, our girls and what they are doing in their day to day life. It will be a good things for you to sit and watch and observe and learn to do. I think you will enjoy getting to check in on theme from time to time.
“What do I do now Mother. I don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t understand what is expected of me.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù Laverne had always had a goal or a task or something that was being worked toward completion. She was not used to being without some kind of result at the end of her time or her work. This was a new concept for her. Once that would take time to acclimate to. Time. Funny. Now she apparently had nothing but time until the end of time.
?¢‚Ǩ?ìYou will be here with us. You will watch, you will wait until times when it seems you need to intercede. Mostly this is like a retirement home with more comfortable surroundings and without the smell of alcohol and sickness. We spend time together. You can play Bridge and Pinochle and you?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll find that we?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢re all good opponents given that we have the chance to practice. You will find what you like to do best and you will able to do it. This Heaven may not look like clouds and angels, but really, such a change would only be shocking and scary for you, for anyone.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù
?¢‚Ǩ?ìIt is nice to be someplace familiar. There is no fear in this place.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù LaVerne looked around. The walls were wood planks, the lack of plaster did not bother her, for the room was very clean and warm enough. The chinks in walls had only ever bothered her with wind and with dust. As neither of those seemed to be present in this room, the walls did not worry her.
Laverne looked away from the photos before concentrating on the photos of her own parents. She would have time to look at them later. For now she just wanted to relax. She walked to the back of the house and up the stairs. Easily climbing each one, even though she did so slowly and holding the hand rail out of 80 years of practice. She felt a strength she had long since forgotten as she put her right foot down and it was able to support her weight. Outside she heard wind against the house and heard the branches and leaves on the trees moving. Inside, there was no draft.
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Originally posted April 20, 2007.
I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m a pretty intervention free kind of pregnant woman.
Alex has till 840am on Tuesday before the gentlest of the medical type interventions begin.
So if you?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢d wanna say a prayer or whatever that this boy decides he wants out between now and then?¢‚Ǩ¬¶. In the words of Bill Lumbergh – ?¢‚Ǩ?ìThat?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢d be greeeeeaaaat.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù
On the flip side of the medical interventions are those we can try at home. Nipple stimulation, sex (semen apparently has prostaglandins in it that can ripen the cervix – although why no one thinks this is concerning the other 14 months of pregnancy I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m not sure) and orgasms specifically.
Well, at least I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll know how to use that breast pump when I actually have a kid to feed.
Is it bad to look up naughtiness on google as soon as your husband leaves the house? How the hell do you explain that? Yes son, I got myself off but it was all for you? WTF mate?
I told Scout today in the sonogram room that we might have to sign up for some strategically engineered mercy sex. ?¢‚Ǩ?ìGet it up, put it in, get it off?¢‚Ǩ¬¶..?¢‚Ǩ¬ù I told him I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢d even play some very special Liz Phair in the background for him ?¢‚Ǩ¬¶. mood music if you will. (Seriously, you have to click the link to get the joke.)
Ahhhhh romance, ahhh candor, ahhhh TMI : )
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This is my story. It happened a couple years ago, but gets told in the present tense. I can only imagine how this would go with Alex in the mix.
Why would I ever sit at my computer in a bikini top, shorts and the highest pair of boots in Scout’s closet I could find you ask?
There is a MOUSE in my House.
I was innocently sitting here working on stuff for a friend when this little tuft of gray that was NOT my ferocious cat caught my eye. I looked. MOUSE! MOUUUUUUUSE! And Scout who now works from home is of course out today.
Naturally I go get said ferocious hates everyone cat and put her NEXT to the MOUUUUUSE. I proceed to sit inmy chair with my feet under me whimpering like a little girl with a skinned knee.
Ferocious cat SITS on the bloody mouse.
I flee the room for boots. I close cat in room with mouse. 10 minutes later I come back in boots, find mouse for cat again, she scampers for about .0314 of a second with the mouse and then loses it. Then I lose the mouse.
OMFG!
I do have to give the cat a prop (not props, just one) she did corner the mouse a while later, I tried to trap mouse under a wastebasket but failed – because inexplicably, while I detest the rodent I didn’t want to crush the rodent under the edge of the trash can – thus I was ineffective at trapping the mouse and it
found a hole between the cabinet and dishwasher and escaped into the netherworld of my kitchen. I stuffed the hole w/ tin foil and waited for Scout.
After he got home, Scout caught the mouse in a box, I think the cat chased it out for him, not sure, I was in the shower, trying not to envision mice crawling out of the drainpipe. He’d put it in a box with a baited trap hoping that would be humane, but was concerned that he might not have set the trap correctly, that
the mouse would chew through the box – so he ended up taking it around the corner and setting it free outside, hopefully the mouse doesn’t come back, but we’re leaving the basement door open now so the cat can patrol. In retrospect she’d spent a lot of time in front of the door for the last week – so maybe she knew something was up.
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Originally posted April 18, 2007.?Ǭ†
I didn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t know when I went to bed last night that today would be my last day of work. But when I got in the car this morning with Scout to go to work (late). I knew. When I walked into work. I knew. While I was reading the end of a book to my 5th hour class. I knew. While I was reading that book something shifted in me, and my mind wasn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t really there. Melissa looked at me after that and said my eyes had turned inward, that things were changing.
It was like a sacrament – an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.
I was patted and loved on by several moms today. And one man who greeted me on my way in to work, a man who is so gentle you know his mama raised him right.
I finished testing a girl during 7th hour, my voice was even different while I read the script to her, softer or something.
I passed along good news to three different parent/students today that they had passed tests and wouldn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have to deal with them again – they were finished.
I finished a book, a test, I let people know they had finished tasks, and I finished my pre Alex work life. All while being patted gently by other mothers.
Huh. Today was a blessing. What a gift. Huh.
I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m glad I sat down to write this – I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m glad I didn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t miss out on the gift of today.
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