Yes, I intentionally put “sex” in the title to get your attention.

It was time to spice things up here at Camp Kaiser. Scout had requested I browse around and find some “spice” for him to buy for us.

Then, as if the universe wants “spice” to bless our house, I got an email asking me to check out the community at Eden Fantasys.

Dudes, it’s an adult store that is tailored for ADULTS – married, committed, solo, gay, straight, lesbian – products for here …. there …. everywhere …. A place that’s out to make sex a non pervy, very healthy part of our lives. Actually. Screw that. It’s gonna help me make sex a part of MY life again – I don’t care about your sex life

I made my selection and it luckily arrived on a Saturday – so nice to be able to have some leisure time without having to send hubs off to work the next morning.

Kid was in bed, candle was lit, we were laying in bed talking, when we heard a sigh. Not the kind of sighs we were hoping for that evening. Little cockblocker Alex was in our room, making a beeline for the candle and proclaiming, “Hot! Hot! Hot!” while pointing at the candle. Not the kind of hot we were hoping for that evening.

For our second attempt, we skipped the whole talking thing and went for a more direct approach.

Out came (hee!) our new toy – the wireless butterfly ring.

We’d tried a “love ring” from a pleasure pack of condoms and it was ni-i-i-ce so I thought we’d upgrade a bit. I didn’t want any wires because I wasn’t really sure how that would work. This seemed like a nice step up without going too nutty.

Copious quantities of slick stuff applied, the ring slid on and off we went.

Score – husband 1

I adjusted the fluttery parts and as I was “gettin’ there” my inner commentary was:

“ni-hice!”

“. . .”

“wah?”

“um, is this buzzing less than before?”

The batteries were dying. Dammit.

New batteries, off we went.

Score 1 – wife

Score 2 – wife

Decided to remove the bullet (the part that buzzes) for some versatility, and before Score 2 – husband, it got hot and the batteries were fading again.

But it got the job done, and was a step up from the disposable one in the box (hee!)

I independently researched later in the week, during naptime, and the bullet, on its own, on a solo mission? Suh-weet! Score! Quiet, inconspicuous and quick. Excellent.

Overall – it’s a decent project, it gets the job done and was a nice upgrade from what we’d had before. If I had the chance to review another product I’d go for this one

Which I think would go really well with a Liberator ramp and wedge.

Dear sir at Eden Fantasys, I’d gladly review these!

(Want one of these? Go to You Won’t Go Blind!)

Whoo. Where was I? Would you like a dose of Quiet, inconspicuous and quick? You can have your very own wireless butterfly ring for the low, low price of one comment.

How to enter (hee!)

1. Leave a comment telling me if you’d review a sex toy for the world to read about. Why or why not?

2. Spread the word. For every blog post or social media outlet you use to promote this giveaway you can have one more entry. Leave a link so I can find it.

Muy importado: for each entry, leave a comment. When I use random.org to select the winner, I will use the number of COMMENTS as my number to use – if you tell about the giveaway in 10 different places but put all the links in one comment, you’ll only get one chance to win. And that would suck.

Winner selected midnight CST, Thursday February 5th.

I wanted to take photos of Alex during the inauguration so I could say, “This is where you were when history happened.”

I had in mind a touching shot of him looking up at the President. I got him with Carter, Bush and Clinton ….

I got him choosing the Muppets over the President

and instead of the shot I was hoping for … I got this

Which … figures.

Man I’ve loved spending time with you the last few months.

I feel all safe and cozy wrapped in your cushion. You protect me from the world, insulated and separate.

You make no demands on me, all you request is that I have another piece of chocolate … one more chip … one more spoon of whatever that is with butter and salt.

We’re such a good team, you and I. I love giving you what you want.

I’ve needed you, I’ve needed your warmth and your familiarity in this time when I’m finding my way.

But.

There’s always a “but” and not just our big butt.

It’s a new year, and I need to ask for your help.

My spirit inside your form is asking for something. Pushing for change. Demanding me to dream and to drag you along with me.

Beloved Fat Suit, my spirit tells me we need to change. It tells me we are the caterpillar – fuzzy and cute and content to sit and eat our food all day long.

It tells me that we need to create our cocoon – our safe haven – and become a butterfly.

cred

Change won’t be easy, we’re not accustomed to actual WORK. Perseverance we understand.

So slow and steady and sure – we can do this.

Together we can take what we have created and transform into a Suit of Strength.

BRINGIT09!

Love,

Dawn