Archive for November, 2009

Nov 30

Embarrasshitting Moment

My most embarrassing moment . . . I had to think on it  . . . I’m so prone to the awkward that I miss the embarrassing. I thought about the time I bled through my white shorts in the Walmarts and my mom made me walk around with her purse covering my ass . . . The time I put my lunch ticket in my awesome Kangaroo shoes and then couldn’t get it out . . . but these moments were so far in the past that they don’t really make me feel all squirmy anymore.

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Then I realized it.

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The room was dark – my body had been so constantly pulsing in pain that the change to pushing was an awesome relief. The midwife was at my feet, I was curled up the waist with my head pressed into Scout’s chest, his arms around me, my chin tucked to my chest. I pushed with the contraction and out it came. The first blissfully easy bowel movement in the last 24 weeks. I was sure it wasn’t a petite little leftover, nay, this was a good 8 inch, firm yet soft piece of shit I had just pushed out IN FRONT OF MY HUSBAND.

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(Husband and I had, up to that point, a digestive tract disclosing free relationship – farts, poop, dutch ovens were NOT a feature of what we shared with each other. One of the best things about this man was that he would throw toilet paper in the toilet to muffle the sound of PEE. Love that.)

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I kept my head down and my eyes closed, pretending this had not actually happened. I assumed the poo was cleared away by the time the midwife told me roll to my side. I paused, she didn’t move. “Uh, could you, uh . . .” (oh please I don’t want to say it out loud.) Then I felt the gauze pad reach up and pinch the remaining poo off my butt.

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Where it was clinging to my hemorrhoid.

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I’ve heard that the whole pooping on the table thing happens in delivery. I’ve also heard that by that point you don’t even care. Bull. I totally gave a shit about giving a shit on the table.

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Nov 13

ZOMG Mommyblogger DRAMZ!!!!!

I point fingers at people who go trolling through the internet looking for drama to blow up about. I do my best to keep my mouth shut.

Here comes the fancy but.

However.

I see this tweet

Had a company contact us asking us to pay $10 per item plus s/h to review them. “We do this to ensure that our bloggers have done homework”

I reply with a very mature totally amazed

you’re shitting me? someone expects you to PAY to work and link to their company?

Being that Twitter is not always the best way to share information. Friend and I took the conversation elsewhere.

Here are the facts.

CompanyRep approached Blogger about doing a review.

Blogger replied with question about product.

CompanyRep replied with answers and supplied product catalog.

Blogger replied with positive response, provided some relevant information, asked CompanyRep what they wanted reviewed.

CompanyRep replied that the company asks for 10 dollars plus shipping costs per item; not all items were available for review (no list provided)

Blogger replies in the negative regarding paying for item.

CompanyRep replies in the negative.

Email conversation ended.

Left at this, we would have pointed fingers and laughed about PR people who don’t “get it” in the same spirit that we laugh about getting emails addressed to “Dear Dawn Blog” or “Dear MommyBlogger” – and it would have been done.

However.

Right after the email exchanged ended, the Blogger began receiving anonymous “your blog makes me ill” comments via the contact form.

IP check verified these anonymous comments were from the CompanyRep same IP the CompanyRep had been using.

This my friends is where I call BULLSHIT.

I titled this “zomg mommyblogger dramz” because the title amused me. Nothing else from this point on does.

This turned into harassment. Chicken, anonymous trolling. Not well done, mind you since it was so easily tracked.

Apparently I have found a guideline for when I will step in.

You anonymously troll my friends – I will call out your poor spelling on Twitter.

“… it is ‘taking’ not ‘takeing’”

Anyway – there it is – why I went into some drama – I swear I won’t make a habit of it – thanks for bearing with me when I spoke out.

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Nov 10

For the Ravelry and Knitter peeps

We’re doing a secret Santa (or whatever politically correct name) over in my Ravelry group and this is to help my partner out. And the local knitterati knows about the blog so they might like some info too.

1. How long have you been spinning? What skill level do you consider yourself?
Picked up the drop spindle for the first time in Dec 2008 but had no luck till Summer 09. I guess I’m intermediate – I can manage to get fiber to turn into yarn and now I’m learning how to control the outcome a little better.

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2. What kinds of yarn do you create (singles/2-ply/3-ply/art yarn)?
2 ply, 3 ply. I can’t seem to get the hang of a single that I could leave as is. I’m sure reading some directions someplace would be a great idea.

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3. What do you spin with (spindle/wheel/both)?
Spindle. Scout doesn’t deserve to have a wheel taking up space. Yet.

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4. What are your favorite fibers to spin with? Anything you don’t like?
Well I’m an alpaca girl through and through. I’m having good luck with bamboo and silk. I don’t love BFL. I prefer natural fibers but there’s a ton of fun in firestar too :)

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5. Who are your favorite fiber sources (etsy or otherwise)?
I’m all about the etsy yarns. Stash Up Yarns is where I get my bamboo/cotton blends. I love From Rebekah with Love (but haven’t bought anything there yet). My latest purchase was from Critter Ranch and I ADORE it.

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6. What kind of fiber do you want to try?
Hm. Wow. I don’t think I have an answer. I don’t know what there is out there I haven’t tried … I do have an endless fascination with the artyarn skeins that are primarily the same color but made up of a billion different kinds of yarn and textures.

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7. Are there any techniques you would like to learn?
Navajo plying, Chilean plying ….

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8. Do you dye fiber? If not, would you like to learn?
I don’t dye fiber, I would LIKE to learn, however see the above comment on what Scout deserves. I’m holding off on dying along with spinning with a wheel.

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9. Do you have fiber prep tools (and like to use them) or would you prefer ready to spin fiber?
I *do* want a Little Kitten drum carder. Come spring I’ll have the fleeces from my FIVE alpacas and I want to be able to card some of them.

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10. What do you do with your handspun? What projects have you completed?
I have a patchwork quilt I’m doing using Phat Fiber samples and other yarns I’ve bought in a purple/yellow/green color scheme (with some pink and blue sneaking in).

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11. Are you in need of any spinning gadgets (WPI Gauge, threading hook, etc)?
I could use a WPI gauge. I always need tapestry needles because I lose mine.

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12. What colors “fall into your shopping basket”? Any colors you just can’t stand?
mmm. Fall colors. Then the purple/yellow/green for the project above. I don’t think I’ve ever purchased bright orange, anything neon …

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13. What is on your wheel/spindle right now?
Just the leader, but I have a Frogs and Polliwogs from Critter Ranch I want to get some more work done on.

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14. What other crafts/hobbies do you have?
Is trying to clean and organize my house a hobby? I like to say it is, because that makes it sound like a fun challenge. I blog. I read … Well I used to read, I’d like to take it up again. I do like scrapbooking.

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15. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What magazine subscriptions do you have?

I like simple patterns that show off the yarn. The only thing I don’t ever plan to knit are socks. And fake poo.

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16. When is your birthday?
2/24

17. What book or movie character do you most resemble in personality?
I get told I look like Kate Winslet. Personality … I’m coming up with Joan Cusack in Grosse Point Blank…

18. What is the climate like where you live around this time?
We’re having a late fall so it’s still no coat weather for me.

19. Tell us one weird fact about yourself!
I grew up in a funeral home.

Favorites

Candy:
Dark chocolate. Almonds. Some coconut.

Food:
Thai, Indian, mac n cheese.

Drink:
Coffee with gonna kill me fake creamer, Water, clear alcohols

Movie(s):
Love Actually, Serenity, Sweet Home Alabama, Down with Love

TV Show(s):
Greys, Bones, Buffy, Castle

Book(s):
anything involving the Sweet Potato Queens :)

Guilty Pleasure(s):
I’m pretty sure it involves food …

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Nov 07

How to tell you are a mommy blogger -1

You send your husband the following message from your ever open email to his ever charged blackberry:

bring bud ice cream. he just sat on the little potty long enough to poop there. i’m so thrilled you are lucky i’m not taking a photo and sending it to you.

Then you blog about it.

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Nov 06

Fiber Arts Friday – 11/6/09

Hallo!

My spinning is improving!

I bought this

il_430xN.81772429

from Maude and Me

And spun half of it into this

For more Fiber Arts Friday see Alpaca Farmgirl.

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