- Realize some women are BITCHEZ. They just are. Their moms and sisters are probably BITCHEZ too. Also? Their friends. Like speaks to like and BITCHEZ hang tight. Think of these BITCHEZ like a rank, wet fart. Unavoidable and best to avoid being in their path.

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- Grooming counts dude. If I look at my 5 fave mommy bloggers – not a one of them presents as an uggo. I’m not talking imitating plastic surgery Barbie and spending hours in front of a mirror. Soap and water go a long way. Especially when choosing profile pictures. Sloth is one of the 7 deadlies peeps.

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- Have some dayum FUN! Srsly people. Chances are, this is not the job that is providing the finances for your food and shelter. So CHILLAX with the awards, memes, retweets, commenting, replying to comments and for the love of Pete – “mark all as read” is your FRIEND.

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- Ask questions. Want to know how to get some nifty widget in your sidebar? Make a button? Change a template? Figure advertising? Get threaded comments? ASK. Even the fucking BITCHEZ tend to answer questions when asked. People like to feel like experts. I’m horrid at reading blogs, replying to comments and all that – but when someone emails me and asks a question – I *tend* to sit down right then and answer it. (Not that I’m hot shit. Trust me.)

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Run the other way from DRAMA! I’ll give someone a pass the first time they lose their shit on Twitter. Twice – ehhhh – anything after that and we’re back to the rank fart theory.

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No mall hair. Now really this is a rule for life and not just mommy blogging. This was okay on a hot teenager in the 80s ….

(click photo for source)

. . .but NO MORE MALL BANGS. It’s been 20 years – no more curling bangs backward onto your head.

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No one puts Baby in a corner. You have all this pain and all these feelings, and nobody’s really paying attention. Every single person . . . is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones, the popular ones, the guys that pick on you. Everyone. Okay. That’s totally a quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy is talking to Jonathan in the clock tower. Still works though. Get yourself out of the corner. Goes back to having fun.

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To sum up. Have fun in spite of the BITCHEZ in the DRAMA, remember to Shower your non 80s hair, while asking questions, and hiding in the corner is NOT FUN.

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ps

HAVE FUN!

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(conversation between friends joined already in progress)

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Miss Piggy: back to my other question – did you try the ‘better than chocolate‘ vibrator for women?

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Janice: I did . . . not strong enough . . . but overall works

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Miss Piggy: HATE IT

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Janice: HAHAHHAA

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Janice: like the ergonomics of it

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Miss Piggy: yeah, the ergonomics are nice, that’s why I wanted to try it. thought it would fit nicely between Kermit and I. Y’know what I’m sayin’.

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Miss Piggy: but any vibrator that i have to pull out the fucking manual on

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Janice: BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

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Janice: i think BETTER than chocolate is an overstatement

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Miss Piggy: better than a poke in the eye with a sharp fuckin stick

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Miss Piggy: I even turned that bitch around to try to stimulate more *ahem* areas

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Miss Piggy: I tried with with THREE sets of batteries #FAIL

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At this point, Miss Piggy dissolves into tears and starts throwing things.

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The End.

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I like to have my twitter followers/following balanced. If it is supposed to be a conversation, then for me, I need/want to be both talking and listening to the “friends”.

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To figure out who I can “unfollow”  (y’know peeps I followed and they never followed me back, and now I don’t know why I followed them in the first place) I like Friend or Follow. Easy to see who I’m following who isn’t following me back. A bit of a pain to click through, unfollow, click back, but hey, nothing I can’t manage with a glass of wine before bed. Nice, repetivie and boring – it’s like counting sheep for the tech era.

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I used to have Twitter email me for everything – but that just cluttered up my email, so I quit doing that. Sometimes people get missed – so to make sure I’m following who I want to be following I use Twitter Karma. I like it because It’s easy to tell who is following me that I’m not following back.  -

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Some people like to use Qwitter or the like to know when someone unfollows them – me? not so much – I don’t like signing myself for rejection – I can totally find better things to fill my world with!

I know. Posting two days in a row. Crazyness. (Craziness?)

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MommySnatch and ZoeyJane both wanted to know what book I’m reading -

(click the image to link to the book. It’s not an aff link bc I’m too lazy to make it an aff link right now.)

I was drawn to it because it is pretty. I could hang the book on my wall and enjoy it as art.

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I’m no longer a “fan” of anything on Facebook. I think I’m a memeber of just a couple of “groups” now. Those were my little steps toward internet simplicity today.

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I got the Wii set up for repair and Scout took it to FedEx today. out with broken, in with the repaired. (Which will lead to a conversation about Jillian Michaels or EASports at some point – I need to get rid of some extra weight to make room for some joy too.)

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I’m spinning my fiber stash so I can have something DONE. Thanks to the slow recovery from the strep I can manage to get things around the house started and then my stamina is shot. Shizzle shot. So I’m spinning. till I’m out of fiber. Which is 4 more projects.

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Once upon a time, when I was really taking care of myself, I was following the Abs Diet. My brother told me about it, I do what Forbes says so I went and bought the screaming neon orange book and paid attention to what I ate. And I went to the gym. The book had merit to me because a lot of what it suggested was what my mom had done on her own over the last year and lost a lot of weight she needed to lose and feels a whole lot better because of it. I said months ago that I was disgusted at 186. (gag me) Now it’s 194. *headdesk*. So I decided to have ONE perfect food day this week. .

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Breakfast was a smoothie (milk, yogurt, strawberries, banana)

Lunch – sandwich with bread, turkey, cheese, mustard, avocado

Dinner (aka Supper) – pizza – crust, sauce, avocado, cheese.

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Next week – TWO perfect food days. I already have the game plan for one day taken care of so that will be easier to follow. I can come up with one days meal planning for 6 weeks – then I’ll be kinda covered. I have do this stuff slowly. Which drives me a little nuts – but I know how I learn these habits. Try try try again. Oh. And I wore clothes. Real clothes. All day. Now that I think of it – I was sponsored clothing head to toe – so apparently thank you Lane Bryant and YummieTummie for letting me look nice for the dentist. Now if Intimacy would sponsor my boobs…..

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Scout and Alex and I are headed back for a weekend in Minnesota in 2 weeks – we’ll have Alex baptized while we are there – well – we wil if I get the priest asked that is -

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I feel good about today. Tomorrow is gonna be good too. Right now – Get rid of something – person on twitter, old cookies, facebook frenemy, shirt that rides up and shows your gut – get rid of something and come tell us about it.

It’s snowing here. Like enough snow that I’ll even call it a good snow.

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I made a snow angel yesterday. As I fell back into the snow, the world went WHOOSH …. quiet. The way that only happens when the world is filled with snow. I lay there enjoying the release of everything in that moment while I made a snow angel. While the snowflakes poured out of the sky and onto my face.

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Today begins the Easter season. I’m conflicted about Easter being that my Dad and my Grandpa both died at Easter time. Now I have the lossof Maddie to add to that season of the opposite of joy.

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People are giving up facebook … chocolate … red meat … I thought on it and decided that I will work on releasing things that aren’t workin’ for me anymore.

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I’m reading some pretty book about simplicity – one of the things it talks about is letting go of one thing makes room for another – so the potential is there to release something that is just okay and it may well be replaced with something f’awesome.

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Last night I released 11 facebook apps that I just didn’t need. That weren’t really bringing me any joy. Today I will take care of clutter in my living room.

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(forgive the typos – my computer screen is borked and I need to send it in to be fixed – and I’m feeling lazy about scrolling to fix things.)