Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

Dawn

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I connected the dots . . .

I know you didn’t mean to Daddy. I know you wouldn’t have left Grandma stranded if you could have helped it. If you would have expected it. To die. I don’t know what broke you along the way. I don’t know what made you think you were so much more than less than. Why you didn’t think you …. why didn’t try harder to have things you deserved. People you.. Read More

What I have learned I can do this year

1. Ice skate. (not well, but better than I could this time last year) 2. Belly Laugh. 3. Redesign speech/language services in a way that makes a LOT of sense for my school community. 4. Put down hardwood in almost my entire house, almost completely by myself. 5. Love my little boy with all my heart. Be the Mommy he needs. 6. Supervise graduate students. 7. Knit a sweater. 8… Read More

What I Have Learned About Me and Men and Relationships

1. If he says, “I’m not sure you are the one,” I shouldn’t try to convince him otherwise. 2. If the relationship has to be secret, it shouldn’t exist. 3. If he says he “can’t” shake off a girl, it’s because he doesn’t want to. If my gut is pinging, I should listen. 4. I can tell a lot about a man by his offspring. 5. If I try to.. Read More

A Bunch of Bloggers Who Have Loved Me

This list is not all inclusive. This list is not exclusive. It is purposefully not in any particular order. It’s me giving back some love to those who have loved me well this year. Thank You.   Amanda Magee – The Wink – http://amandamagee.com She inspires me. She supports me. She sends me love. She never, ever stops cheering for me. Mishelle Lane – Secret Agent Mama – http://secretagentmama.com/ Hot photos.. Read More

Necessary Evil

If I tell you I am scared Will you tell me it is nothing? Or will you share with me a time you were scared? Will you gaslight me? Or will you hear me? Will you tell me it’s no big deal? Or will you tell me you will be here when I am done? Will you look away, not wanting to see me? Or will you stand with me?.. Read More

I Fell in Love – A MommyNAlex Story

It took four and a half years. Not for me the head over heels with my little boy when he was born . . . not that day . . . month . . . year . . . or the years after. Scout and Alex bonded on sight. As Scout took care of his tiny bits with so much vaseline . . . you knew that daddy and that.. Read More

On Forgiveness

Something happened several weeks ago that I’ve had to sit with all this time before I could share it. I’m still not sure I can share it without sounding too sunshiny or glossy or superficial, but I’m ready to try. I had a really hard week. I grieved everything that’s happened over the last long while. I lay alone and cried sobbing in my pillow. Everything was very sad in.. Read More

This isn’t our grandmas’ world

More than a decade ago, I set out to write a book. I had a concept – “Becoming Good Women” – it was based on the idea that my grandmothers were these very good women, and how would my generation grow to be good women as well? I was *just* wise enough to realize that my fresh out of college self wouldn’t really have a clue for a long time.. Read More

This Week

I know how much I have changed and grown because I am still at peace at the end of this very long week. It was a week filled with meetings and paperwork, needy students and swirled with the struggles of others. My best friend’s family is dissolving an adoption, stepping back to look at the needs of five people and what is best for everyone. Trying to do it with.. Read More

I see Thestrals

In the opening of Harry Potter 5 (Order of the Phoenix) – Harry sees Thestrals for the first time. They are what pull the carriages from the train to the castle of Hogwarts. Neither Ron nor Hermione can see the strange horse-like animals. Luna appears and explains that only those who have been close to a death can see the Thestrals. Which is why Harry and Luna can see them,.. Read More

Love Will Come To You

Beautiful gift of a perfect Fall day, combined with a successful day at work, my Alex in a great mood and this song that reminds me of my best times of life. The sound quality on this Indigo Girls cover isn’t the greatest, but I think these girls do a beautiful job with the song.

Cold and Gone

I wrote this about my ancestor a while ago, but it’s been coming to mind lately so I figured I’d share it again. I’m alive only because people died. Well loved mothers and fathers, wives and husbands. Dead. In the ground. Cold and gone. So that I may be warm and alive and writing to you. I am the 21st child in my family. Yes, you read that correctly –.. Read More