Sara blogged about the Sara of 10 years ago. Which made me think about the Dawn of 11 years ago today. 11 Years ago just about right now I was at a rehearsal for a wedding. I was in a black crop sweater with red trim and buttons. I was in a denim skort. I was wearing the Mia fisherman sandals for chicks that everyone owned that summer. I was.. Read More
What looks like Scout, sleeps like me, doesn’t sleep me, eats like me, likes clothes like me and likes the same textures as me? My Mini Me! And I thought I had to have a girl to have a Mini Me. Crazy talk. The lessons just keep on coming.
I miss Scout. In the OMG where is he? Screaming out of me. I don’t usually do this when he’s gone. To be honest, knowing that Mom was going to be here while he was in Indy this week, I really had it in my head that we would “fix” everything. Two women and a baby, without feeling like I needed to support Scout and help him with this baby.. Read More
Yay for Baby H! Today was hard. Counseling was hard. The six hours I spent crying after counseling were hard. Alex not wanting to go to sleep was hard. The thoughts in my head are hard. Being completely worn out in the middle of the night yet not able to sleep is hard. Getting a phone call from my brother Forbes telling me that Baby H (female) was here one.. Read More
So to celebrate Alex’s one month birthday, his daddy and I are going to counseling. Hm.
I never talked to Alex about what made me so cranky last night. He screamed for a while to mirror my swift mood change and settled in to the hard business of snuggling my anger down to simmer by the 3am shift change. At time of said shift change and the sounds of doors opening and latching he woke up, requested some bottle and to be placed on his back.. Read More
Hm. It seems that my postpartum blues/depression may be emerging in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I’ve expected to end up back on the happy pills, something which actually seemed to comfort the terrific discharge nurse I had in the hospital. She and I were already seeing eye to eye and when she started the postpartum depression spiel I told her I already had a history of depression, and that.. Read More
I can read on the computer and hold sleeping Alex at the same time. Skillz, mad skillz I have. Anyway, I blog jump to find interesting stuff to read to keep me awake because we are still waking every 75 minutes to eat and I do better just staying awake. I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant. With my irregular cycles and birth certificte accurate age, I had 4 medical professionals.. Read More
Fact: Scout stated several days ago he was sick with a head cold. What I heard: “I’m whiny bc I have spring allergies, or I touched a rock and it hurt, or I need attention, or you don’t look like you are strung out enough with the post delivery body and the constant hooking up to the moo machine” so I didn’t pay attention. Then I’ve commented on baby crabass.. Read More
I’m purposefully sitting in a room that doesn’t have Alex in it. I can hear him. He’s moving, he’s sneezing, he’s NOT sleeping, but he’s NOT screaming so all is well. Except that I’M not sleeping. and now he’s crying. fuck it all, I’m not going to survive till morning.
Well I’ll tell you– C R A B A S S oh yes. loud and proud baby crabass. Today we took a bath to cure the crab ass. Scout had left the room b/c he had just sat in the poopy diaper and was cleaning up. Alex was splashing and having fun with me in the tub. He started to get fussy and a little cold so picked him up.. Read More
Today Alex didn’t open his eyes for long until 115. Then he had 5 hours of awake time from then until 830. What a stud. Hopefully he sleeps tonight. Popped in Baby Einstein today, and he got all vocal – lots of cooing, which he did again later without the BE to prompt conversation. Aw, little man finding his voice. Yay!