Look, I get it. I get that the whole MILF thing has evolved into some dumb ass “you must be perfect and look as if you’ve never been pregnant or looked at a cookie” mentality. I get that Britney gets called fat just because she doesn’t look like she used to – and that’s wrong. I get that Salma Hayek is taking a ration of shit because she actually looks pregnant with her entire body, and not like she’s smuggling a basketball.

However, I also remember the first time I heard the term and how hard I laughed.

It was awwesome. Those two teenage boys licking the frame and going apeshit over Jennifer Coolidge.

I mean LOOK at her. She’s fucking hawt, yo.

She’s hot and she does NOT:

1. weigh less than 110 pounds.

2. look like a 20 year old.

3. have skinny thighs

She DOES:

1. carry herself with confidence

2. dress for HER body type

3. exude an “I could be the best thing to ever happen to you” aura

And THAT, my friends, is what I have in mind when I think of MILF. I’m done being a little girl, and I’m sick of all the images that keep trying to tell me that I’m supposed to aspire to be 15 forever.

(I do wish that every time I typed MILF that I didn’t type MILK first, makes proofing a real bithc… bitch.)

I have limited computer access till Friday, if I don’t reply to a comment right away it means I’m having withdrawal pains from lack of internet.