When I was in labor with Alex, the doula told me with each contraction

Just get through this one.

Focusing on that ONE contraction at a time was what I needed.

Just get through this one.

With this break up, I’ve been all up in explaining things to other people, and to myself and . . .

Just get through this one.

Everything has felt so catastrophic to me. Such loss. So much change. A good minute, hour, day to then have the nasty hot tingle of rage . . . or shame . . . or anxiety force me to stop completely, and all I can do to survive is . . .

Just get through this one.

It’s good advice and bad advice. When I only focus on this ONE day, all the minor glitches feel like tragedies, rather than what they simply are – a bump in the road. Of course then I also hyperfocus on the bad rather than the good.

When I focus on my entire life that I hope to live before I go to join the women I come from, these tragedies are easily called things like “character building” or “learning experiences” or “omg remember that time in 2011 when everything went to fucking shit in a handbasket?”

So today I am going to try to change my outlook, tomorrow I go to see my dear besties VDog and Flinger for five days of hair petting and luff. I am going to look forward to the bitchin’ things that I know are in my future – like Alex coming home in 11 days, my trip to Austin in June with my heart sister Ivy (where she will totally squee when she meets Lotus in person.) My new outlook –

Just get TO THAT one.