My Tabitha posted this – and while it might ring true for some – It doesn’t for me, that post smacked of giving up and I’m far from giving up. So here is my version.
First. Your midlife body. For the first time ever, this is your body. Not out to be skinnier than the girl next you, not gearing up to be pregnant, nurse, lose the baby weight. This body is yours. What will horrify 20 something you, is the motivation to eat well and exercise is fueled by the fact that by now you’ve lost a parent or two to disease, you’ve watched a friend die. You realize that your 20s are gone and you have to take the walk and watch the calories for health, not vanity.
Second. Your social life. 20 something you would be horrified at what you – because you are now tragically un hip. You let your freak flag fly – dressing up in costumes when it isn’t Halloween, NOT playing mud volleyball no matter who begs you because you are 40 and you do what you want, You drink as much as you want – you just want less because you’ve learned your limit. Yes you like to sleep and watch Netflix and occasionally Netflix and chill, you’re 40, not dead.
Third. Your sex life. 20 something you is horrified that you bring your toys in the bed instead of sneaking off to finish up after the sex. 20 something you can’t even with the “you put what where”. 20 something is shocked that you have a partner you can say Not tonight and not feel guilty. For some – 20 something is stunned that who you are sleeping with now looks very different than who you pictured.
Fourth. 20 something you can’t believe that you own some of the same clothes as you did then. 20 something you is sad that the sorority party t-shirt you loved so much is now full of holes and covered in paint and hair dye. 20 something you is also a little envious that you can rock a smokey eye in the middle of the afternoon and no one bats an eye or wonders who you are trying to impress.
Fifth. Your hygiene? You’ve figured out that your hair looks better on day three of washing, so you no longer wash it and style it every day. 20 something you is shocked that you no longer own Cucumber Melon everything from BBW.
Last. The thing that would truly horrify your 20 something self – you don’t feel older than you did when you were skipping class to watch Days of Our Lives with your friends. You still don’t have it together. You aren’t a perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect anything. And you no longer care. Your skin feels comfortable, you’ve seen enough to rarely be shocked, you’ve seen enough to know what is worth true panic and worry. You are what you are, and you are enough.