Alex babbled mama and dadad yesterday. I know it’s just a fluke, but he’s babbling them, and it’s really nice to hear. Even if I do have to sit back and go ,”omgwtf I’M the MOM.”

I wonder what his first words will be.

I wonder exactly what my first words were.

I don’t know for sure because there are two versions to the story.

Version 1.

We lived over the family business, and sometimes Dad would have events that would start at 7pm. On these nights, my mom would have dinner made and ready for him to eat around 6pm. It never failed that he’d get the first forkful of food halfway to his mouth and the door would ding that someone was early.

His comment was always, “Goddamn people.” As he put down his food and walked downstairs. (In the days before the microwave this was truly sucky because there was no reheating dinner.)

One night, event scheduled, fork almost to mouth, door dings.

From the high chair, the angelic daughter (aka me) chimes in, “Goddamn people.”

Version 2.?Ǭ†

My Dad had a tendency to be SUPER nice and chatty on the phone. Often he would complete his smoke blowing up ass conversation and hang the phone up and then exclaim an emphatic, “SUNUVABITCH!” (It really should have been “sumbitch” considering where we lived, but I digress.)

You can, of course, see where this is going.

I had a few old phones that I played with. There I was, babbling away in a cheery voice. Then I hung up the phone and angelic daughter (aka me) exclaimed an emphatic, “SUNUVABITCH!”

I can only hope Alex’s first words don’t happen while I’m driving, if they do, I predict they’re gonna be, “Fucking idiot” or “Move it jackass!”