What I’ve learned:

All things in the living room are available for DNA sampling: Breast milk and baby boy pee are attracted to two cushions on the couch, the ottoman and the new rug. One cushion and one chair are currently still DNA free – but probably not for long. Action Step: find all towels etc in house and cover all things absorbent with something that can go in washing machine absorbent.

Sleep deprive my husband and he will say the words “blow job” and drop the f bomb and refer to his parents as “nutzo” in front of his mother in law. Kick ass. Action Step: Keep him always sleepy.

Five hours of sleep is bliss. Action step: Repeat as often as possible.

Three sets of hands for one little boy – quite helpful. Action step: May not ever let Mom go home. (Which as long as my husband is sleep deprived he may not notice.)

If I want my dad to call: Have a baby, clearly hit the wall of exhaustion and then lay down to take a nap, JUST fall asleep. This is a guarantee apparently, proven with a sample size of 3/3 days. Action Step: Time to shut the ringer off when I nap.