Just before Christmas, when I was in 2nd grade, the music teacher asked two other girls and me to sing a solo to our class. The other two girls were very shy and embarrassed about it.

I, on the other hand, belted it out. I knew the song, so I sang it loud ‘n proud ‘n on key.

That night, my mom got a phone call from the high school music teacher. Did I want to be in the high school musical? Was it okay with mom if I was in the high school musical?

Yes and yes.

I remember telling Mom, “Oh, that must have been why we had to sing in class today, the other two girls were really quiet, but I wasn’t, I’ll bet that’s how I got the part.”

“My name is Marta, I’m going to be seven on Tuesday, and I’d like a pink parasol.”

(name that play)

I spent the rest of the year singing myself to sleep at night, and apparently the rest of the house too.

On stage at age 8, all because I was ballsy enough to sing out when I knew how.

Then that girl disappeared. Replaced with someone shy and scared of being noticed. For any reason.

I went from the brave girl who sang out to the shy girl scared of anyone hearing my voice.

By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I was tone deaf. No tunes carried in any buckets.

Since Alex was born, I sing again, but always when it’s just us in the room. I’m still not singing to an audience.

Or so I thought. I made a comment to Scout involving my heinous songbird skillz and he said, “I *like* hearing you sing around the house.”

I stood totally still in the kitchen and let that process.

The next day found me belting out to Alex:

“The hills are alive! With the Sound of Music!”

I sounded just fine. I’d sounded just fine for a while. About 20 weeks or so.

***

I don’t watch cartoon movies. I always grumble about it when people are surprised that haven’t seen whatever cool animated movie is out. I remind them that the last movie I saw in the theater was Oceans 12 (12, not 13) and that I don’t usually get to watch the movies with actual actors in it that I want to see, so no, I have not seen a movie with drawn characters.

Except Happy Feet. It was on Pay Per View, so we gave it a watch.

I love that movie.

Apparently, Alex taught me my heart song.

Thank you, baby.

I have limited computer access till Friday – if you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’m suffering from internet withdrawal.