Originally posted April 17th, 2007.
Seriously. I have figured out some serious shit today.
In reading the book The Sweet Potato Queens?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead the author talks about ?¢‚Ǩ?ìMan Ears?¢‚Ǩ¬ù.
To quickly sum up – Man Ears is what all men have that make it so that everything we say somehow becomes an invitation for sex. Example: ?¢‚Ǩ?ìLet?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s watch a movie?¢‚Ǩ¬ù becomes ?¢‚Ǩ?ìI want to watch nasty porn with you and have sex with you while watching it?¢‚Ǩ¬ù Example: ?¢‚Ǩ?ìWould you pass me the newspaper please??¢‚Ǩ¬ù becomes ?¢‚Ǩ?ìI will give you a blow job?¢‚Ǩ¬ù
You get the idea.
So today, I get the following email from my brother Professor (of ?¢‚Ǩ?ìHi I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m Prof, wanna fuck??¢‚Ǩ¬ù famed pick up line – only continuing to prove the ?¢‚Ǩ?ìMan Ears?¢‚Ǩ¬ù theory):
?¢‚Ǩ?ìWhen are you moving?? I saw Dad yesterday and he said he knew nothing about you moving until last Saturday when he was at Gma?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù
My response to him was:
?¢‚Ǩ?ìThat?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s because he doesn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t listen – I told him in January, Mrs. Forbes mentioned it February, and when she mentioned it he had no idea what she was talking about, she thought she?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢d said something wrong. By the time I talk to him again he will probably have forgotten about it again. Granted, it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s not like it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s the most important thing going on in his world right now but still?¢‚Ǩ¬¶ its?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ just situation normal on that memory thing.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù
To which he replied that he figured this was the case, and I replied that I figured he figured, and we went on to rag on Dad?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s girlfriend and such, as is sport whenever two or more of my family are gathered?¢‚Ǩ¬¶.
But I digress. (shocking)
I began to ponder just why it was that my father was incapable of retaining details that I shared with him.
And then it hit me.
Man Ears!
Man Ears are programmed to turn everything a woman says into an invitation for sex. Now CLEARLY it is inappropriate for a father to hear something his baby girl says and turn it into an invitation for sex. THEREFORE, I can only conclude that what happens is that when a daughter says something to her father, the Man Ears kick in, sending a whole bunch of feedback sounding noise from the Man Ears to the brain, overloading the Man Ears ?¢‚Ǩ?ìI hear sex invitations only?¢‚Ǩ¬ù receptors with noise rather than the actual words the daughter is saying.
THIS is why fathers and daughters can?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t communicate.
I am ready for my Peace Prize now.
Makes sense!
Veronica’s last blog post..No ADSL For Me
You’re hilarious.
Kyla’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Scary sense of fashion
Clearly!
And also, the automatic response to that noise is to ask questions like “How’s your car doing? Have you changed the oil recently?”
My dad actually does not suffer from this problem. Brad however is another story.
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Celebrating Every Baby
It is true!
Now, when you go to Stockholm to accept, can I go too?
Ree’s last blog post..Just Another Day in Hotfessional-land.
Love this post. I submitted it to http://www.fivestarfriday.com/
Then I stumbled it.
Expect traffic.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Spring?
That’s some smooth logic there.
I found myself thinking, “I know what you’re saying,” from Business Time.
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t act like it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s never happened to you.
Hey! Here it is: 3/1/2009 and I stumbled you!
Over you. Onto you. Something. XX
Rees last blog post..Grace in Small Things: 11/365
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