I named this three times before deciding “preparing” was right. I started with “Growing” then “Waiting”.
I am preparing.
I am preparing my home. I am making this home mine. Alex gets a little say, but really, this is my space and I’m so thrilled with the chance to create my own space.
I am letting go of what I don’t need. Which will result in you seeing some photos of hilarious outfits I’m trying to put together and then deciding oh screw this, who wants a free dress.
I am learning that trying to control people doesn’t make me happy (Thanks Julie the shrink for that insight – when she pointed out how happy I was and then asked who I was controlling and the answer was no one)
I’m getting projects done. Want some alpaca fleece? There’s more coming soon.
I go back to a day job next month – for the first time since Alex was born.
I have plan for the blogs. There will be three. Plans. I haz them.
I am preparing myself to be a worthy partner to the person I love. Knowing the future day is out there when I will have to be strong enough to stand for what I need, soft enough to listen and let him be who he is becoming.
I am a better mom. I can tell it in Alex’s speech, in his love, in his hugs. We love each other better now.
I am preparing. And I love it.
*written whilst on Vicodin and on the one year anniversary of the demise of my marriage. just so ya know where my head is*