There is this girl. Super special to me. She is made of sunlight. And she is miserable.
She’s not made to be miserable, she is made to shine, to glow, and to march to her own music.
Her job sucks. It’s a short term suckage, so it won’t be forever, or even much longer in the big picture. I want to tell her to quit, because even though it isn’t that long, it also isn’t worth it to be unhappy when you can change it.
She longs for her choice boy to love her. He doesn’t. He won’t. He should, but obviously he is silly or blind or clueless. In the end, her heart will break again and again until she steps away.
I’m old and cranky when it comes to these kinds of things. I have made all these mistakes … in fact I have gone back and made the same mistakes with the same people more times than I can easily count. It is so easy to sit on a perch on a high horse and want people to do something different.
In a way, I am right though. And while I have made a lot of mistakes, this high up perch also lets me see a bigger picture.
I am finally in a good place. My money is managed, there isn’t a lot of it, but it’s managed. I like what I do every day, my relationships are solid, my house may just someday be clean.
I’ve spent so much of my life looking backwards, or being sad, or worrying about my thighs or my gut or my boobs, worrying if a boy was going to love me, angry at dad, longing for being in a different place or different time.
Now I have clawed away until my life is as I want it.
So I look around and see other people unhappy and I just want to ask, “So how much longer are you going to be unhappy about this thing?”
Jobs and boys and friends and the weight on the scale … these are all fluid. Something can change and improve either the situation or the outlook.
There are so many things that can’t be changed – children are born with disabilities, we get sick, parents die … there are things that are unmovable and tragic and terrible and there is nothing to be done about them, they aren’t going away.
When I need a reminder – I look at my Facebook friends and the three people there who are dead except in my computer where they still smile at me.
So there is my question. How much longer are you going to let yourself be unhappy when you can change it?
(I fully realize that I have tempted fate now. Just going through this post in my head a few days ago brought on a summer cold and day of being grumpy and down in the dumps. It never happens that I think I’m moving forward then life slams down the chapter exam, making me put my money where my big mouth is. Can’t wait to see what my own life dishes out now that I have put it out there what I think others should do.)