I bought a book last week at amazon. Something to help me, just maybe, understand the Dude a bit. Something that might help me even understand myself, my child. Something to help me grow as a person, and increase my compassion and patience. If I spent another dollar and change, I could get free shipping. So I bought a vibrator. (photo url)
Pitiful girl watch day . . . oh who cares
Tonight while the Dude and I were eating our gourmet dinner from a fast food bag, my phone rang. A girl I’ve known since high school. I let it go to voice mail so I could call her after he left. After giving me a bit of shit about the whole moving home, getting divorced, why didn’t I call thing, she asked how I was doing. Oh well . … Read More
Level Ground
I mean, still in the shit and all, but at least no lower than yesterday. The Dude bailed on the trip for Alex’s birthday. Which, yes, is one more checkmark in the “zomg you fucking suck, you fucking fuck” column. He knew he’s fucked me over. Again. Which. Yawn. Uh huh. I hear you. You say you’ll do better, yeah well we will see. It was one of those times.. Read More
One step out of the bottom
Yesterday I was at rock bottom. I read a facebook link, beautifully written, by a mother stepping out of her rock bottom of the bottle. I was ripped out of my link with her at her rock bottom when she mentioned her husband’s name. Which is the same as the Dude’s. (But really, if you want to read something courageous and awesome – read what Heather wrote. I am merely.. Read More
Rock. Fucking. Bottom.
I have made it through Lent without any fast food. Unless you count the coffee that the Dude brought me and another that I bought. I choose to not count it. I think my fast food avoidance has net me a total weight loss of … a pound. So that’s frustrating. I’ve had a job I have loved. Adored. And done really good at. You know the feeling of satisfaction.. Read More