We went to the ped last week, and on the 4 month information they gave us was this line:

“Many babies sleep through the night by this time.”

Oh. My. Gaw.

Now, I really should have asked for definition of terms of the word “many” and the phrase “sleep through the night” because what those words translated as in my exhausted “oh. my. gaw. I’m never getting a full night of sleep again” brain is:

“Every baby but YOURS is sleeping 12 hours at a stretch by this time, so if you are so fucking tired you could fucking die, it’s your own fucking fault.” (When I get tired, my adjectives decrease to only my favorite one.)

I need advice. I need to hear from every single person who has a baby who did/does any of the following:

Screams when he’s snuggled down to nap – at the FIRST possible sign of being tired (negating the over tired argument – I did read my Pantley).

Does NOT scream when Daddy walks him around the house to go to sleep – either at night or during the day.

Does NOT scream when I put him in the wrap and walk him around the house to go to sleep during the day.

Apparently sleeps with one eye open like a cat, because as soon as I try to shift him out of wrap – fuhgeddaboudit, he’s awake, nap is ruined, screaming commences, and we’re farther and farther away from getting those 15 hours of needed sleep a day.

Will. Not. Sleep. at night. for long. for the last three weeks. Wakes, kicks, if not fed will commence that I’m asleep but I’m still going to cry and keep everyone awake cry.

Will. Not. Allow me to give him the bottle for a few minutes till he is CLEARLY not drinking, and then take it away – see above.

If your baby has/had any of these issues, please tell me that I will not die from this. That someday he will sleep a decent chunk of time. That I’m not a freaking failure as a parent because My. Baby. Will. Not. Sleep.

I’m so tired, I don’t even want advice, just tell me someday it will be okay.