(The birth story series starts here.)
My mom had the largest influence on my perception of childbirth. She’d had endometriosis and told about laying in bed and focusing on the second hand sweeping around the face of the clock in the hot midwest summer, trying to focus on anything but the pain, filling super duper diaper sized Kotex by the hour as her body recovered. She knew cramps. That being said, her birth story of me was very brief:
I knew at the end of it that I would have you. I knew that this was only a matter of hours, not a matter of weeks of pain. I knew there was a reason for this pain – it was bringing me you.
That was it. She had some V@lium and had a baby. I was always skeeved about the episiotomy and she said that with all the counter pressure from my head pressing down that it wasn’t really all that bad. But this is from the woman who watches it when she gets shots – so, you know, whatever.
The details of the labor was that she was in labor for about 30 hours from first twinge to screaming baby. I chose to lay on my side and not move. Once I flipped off my side, I was delivered in one push, so quickly they couldn’t even roll the mirror up so she could watch. Once I was ready to be born, I got on with it.
Um. Nothing has changed in my personality in the last few decades.
The biggest drama of my birth is that I was NOT a boy. I was supposed to be.
With this kind of backing, I never really considered having anything other than a natural childbirth (I rebel against the word “natural” here – like having drugs is “unnatural,” but for the sake of an easily recognized term, I will use it.) My mom had me without drugs, so I could labor without drugs.
Mom taught first aid for several years, the books had childbirth photos – I used to stare at those for hours. I spent my entire life being fascinated by the pregnancy, labor and birth process – I looked to my own with interest to see what it was really like. I was curious about it rather than afraid – and this is all because of my mom’s take on what it was like to have me.
It’s amazing how our parents influence us even without trying to.
Your mother sounds like a strong woman.
Weird, my mom had endo as well, at least thats what she told everyone. She was a bit of a hypochondriac, so who really knows.
No offense, but I never understood the drive for women to have babies without the aid of pain killers. Throughout history, there have been methods of relieving pain for laboring women. Hell, we go to the dentist and get a shot before he gives a root canal right? I had 40 hours of labor (12 pm sunday to birth of my first on tuesday 4am), it was a drug induced labor, so I was in stage 3 for the entire time. I also scared half the women on the floor to death I’m sure.
I don’t watch soap operas, but I’m starting to understand how an SO addict feels at the end of an episode.
I’m ready for tomorrow to come! 😉
I can’t wait for tomorrow either!
the egel nest
This is a great post…
I can’t believe your mom watches the needles being inserted…I don’t mind watching other people get stuck…but me…no thank you…distract me and do it when i am not expecting it…lol
Looking forward to the conclusion!
The Egel Nest
Now that’s the kind of influence I’d like to have on my kids: strong and unflinching and calm.
What? Thats not the end is it? If the end is I did one push, it felt like a little pinch and then I had this beautiful baby I will be so jealous..
Hydes Like Us
Captivating! Looking forward to more.
My mom was a great influence on me as well–after hearing the horror story of my birth umpteen times I have to say I was relieved to find out I had to have a scheduled c-section! I could recite it to you, but the gist is 36 hours hard labor, no drugs, and a video camera recording it all for a parenting video the hospital was making so my sweet 20 year old mama felt compelled to smile all the way through!
It’s always interesting to hear about another mom’s perspective on labor/birth pre-baby. I kind of went into it the same way you did. I read and watched everything I could get my hands on, so I did not feel surprised by anything that happened (except for the part where I was induced – I had not planned on that).
Jennifer – I think the point for most women is not that they don’t want relief but that they don’t want to expose the baby to the medications (either because they don’t want to risk a bad reaction, or because medications can interfere with breastfeeding).
I just love birth stories! It’s so interesting to me! Can’t wait to hear the rest!