I occasionally miss my former job. Like days when the Kaiser is still in the process of going down for his second nap of the day when it. is. time. for. bed. oh. mah. gaw.

So, now for something completely different.

A story from the vault of my teaching days. (Written in present tense, but it happened last year.)

I wonder why kids think I’m stupid.

Tuesday I had my kids in the computer lab I’d been busy up at the front for most of class but finally had a chance to walk around.

I was standing on the back row when the lone boy in my class, let’s call him Pee-Wee shall we, notices I’m standing near him and he minimizes the internet screen he had up.


Especially since as the screen was minimizing I was pretty sure my powers of literacy caught the word “female” in a title.


So I walk over. “Pee Wee, buddy, that’s makes you look really guilty when you blank out your screen as soon as you notice I’m standing behind you.”

Non interesting response.

“So you have two choices. You can pull the page back up and show me what you were looking at or you can press Command Q and quit Safari and make a better choice.”

A pause.

“Where’s the command button?”


So after school my powers of computer hacking allowed me to access his account, his internet browser and his history.

When the 9th item out of the 10 most recently viewed sites was “Boobs – Google Image Search” I almost died laughing.

And then went off to find Pee Wee’s case manager. Told the story to her and my dept chair and another few teachers. Then the Case manager and I headed to the media center to chat w/ them.

Which resulted in him losing his internet access for the rest of his high school career. Ended up in ISS for a few hours yesterday.

I never thought I would actually be in a situation where I have to ponder. Hm. Should I do a lesson on why it’s a BAD idea to look up p0rn at school?