This is one of those, “I tell you this story to get to another” kind of things.
(again, this could be titled Hey look, Dawn’s talkin’ about death again!)
no no… come back… come back!
Okay. Here we go.
I was a grandpa’s girl. From the time I was born until he died – grandpa’s girl. Which was fitting as my mom was his girl as well.
His body gave out long before his mind. At the time, I thought it was cruel. Now I know better because I watched my Grandma’s mind waste away before her body. Talk about cruel.
The week before he died, my mom stayed with him a day. She told him if he was tired, that it would be okay. She told him we’d understand. That he didn’t have to wait for me to graduate. If he was done, he could be done.
He went into the hospital, we saw him Easter Sunday, he didn’t feel good, when we left, he told me not to get close because he didn’t want me to get sick. So I left without hugging him.
Then at 455am we got a phone call. ICU. No life support. Could be hours or days.
We drove the 30 minutes to the hospital, we got stopped at the light, it started to rain.
I knew he was gone.
And I was right.
We stood by his bed in the ICU. Me. Mom. Grandma. Three generations. Grandma had been with him when he died. We walked out. Grandma said to me, “You were his idol.” I walked behind the curtain to see him again. The machines still hissing. His blue eyes still open halfway.
I touched his hand. Cold. Even though only minutes had passed. I touched his hair. It still felt like him.
Just as I began to feel the hysterical bubbles of panicked terror of losing him, feel it rising in my chest … I stopped.
I felt this peace. Then I felt this … this tingle … this awareness … along my spine, wrapping me in a final hug. It held for a moment, then pulled away and off through the upper left corner of the room.
He was gone. He’d said goodbye.
That was beautiful. I was with my darling Nanna when she died. Held her hand as she took her last breath, watched her face go slack and drain of colour. And she became 20 years younger in that moment. All the worry, the lines the redness in her cheeks went. She looked beautiful. It took my breath away, seeing her look so peaceful and, I dunno, smooth…
It was hard, but I am so glad I got to be with her. That night I heard her voice. Like she was telling me she was OK. Just like your grandpa. Like a final gift.
Like Kelley said, that was so beautiful.
I like the thought if him giving you one last hug.
Veronica’s last blog post..So Many Things To Do With Blocks
A Whole Lot of Nothing
A perfect goodbye wrapped in a hug.
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Photohunt: Any Picture – Paci Fairy Cometh
Must stop reading you after I put on my mascara. Only before.
Ree’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Most Boring Day Ever
I have written a story about a goodbye
I Heard the Crow Call My Name
I was also with my Mom when she died. But I can’t write about it yet.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Run For Your Life!
That was a beaut. When my mom died, there were five other people and myself with her. It was a crowded moment, and I could feel the greed from my sister in the room. A little plop of air escaping her mouth, and it was over. Then the ugliness really began.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Run For Your Life!
Beautiful. Very similar to one I just posted. Come over and see it.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Mother’s Day Story
I understand. I was with my “G’pa” when he passed, but he had a severe stroke prior to that, and we could tell he was no longer with us. It was just a matter of letting go with the life support. Difficult to do, but the right thing.
RC’s last blog post..The beginning of the end, or just the end?
What a touching goodbye.
Thank you for sharing this moment.
Lisa’s last blog post..The Happy Wanderer
I remember the very same thing with my grandmother…
VE’s last blog post..Pity me…I had a VW Bug
I think you and I are the same spirit, split in two this life.
This is so beautiful and I totally get it.
flutter’s last blog post..Therapy Notes: Mind, body and haircuts
you seriously need to add a tissue alert before posts like these! What a wonderful and touching story.
ps, thanks for the KY link….I can’t wait to spend some time on it.
tommie’s last blog post..Photohunt: Truly my favorite thing these days, a SOLD sign in our frontyard
Beth from The Funny Farm
Happy Mother’s Day to you. ***hugs!!***
Beth from The Funny Farm’s last blog post..Blogs Like His
You’re makin’ me cry, girl. I got shivers and goose bumps reading this.
I loved my gramps too.
VDog’s last blog post..Little Man Goes to Daddy’s Office
oooo…. i love it. so sweet. gave me goosebumps.
Yolanda’s last blog post..Beautiful Family
Alex Year Two » If I tell you this is about death again are you going to just click away?
[…] the weeks after Grandpa died, there was a night where I was in bed and replaying that morning in my mind. When I got to the part […]