Over a month ago, I broke down sobbing on the Dude.
“No one touches me!” I mourned.
I had gone from a relationship that even when the sex and the affection weren’t top priority, we were spooners. Hours each day I was held close in a sleeping embrace. And when the sex and the affection WERE top priority – wow. Just wow.
And then it was gone and I was touch – free. It took me a month to figure out what was wrong. Once I did – I KNEW.
I knew in my bones why babies who aren’t held just give up. I think those were my darkest hours in this whole deal – the ones when I was withdrawing from the high of affection and touch.
Someday when the world has a manual for handling breakups – that totally needs be a warning label.
Oh, babe. I am so sorry you are hurting, but 1000 times I would wish for you to be touch-free rather than touched in ways that hurt you.
You are too wonderful not to be loved, allow yourself time to heal.It’ll come, I just know it.
Ditto Amanda. But I totally know what you’re feeling. Humans are meant to have physical contact, and it’s lonely not having it. Is there anywhere to get a massage? Some places do it for a nominal fee if there are students who need practice. You’re getting through it, and I’m so, so proud of you.
we need touch, it is essential. Can you get a massage, babe?