I have had times in my life where I have felt a perfect peace.
And shortly after I have had my world fall apart.
I’ve always been a little bitter about that – Like oh thanks world, let me be happy and then fuck me over.
So when I found myself on the other side, I was naturally suspicious.
I enjoyed the feeling of being stable and centered.
And the next day I found challenges. In the form of Scout being a bit of a shmo. And learning a week after the fact that my dear 16 had knee surgery and feeling out of the loop.
This time, I knew I could get back to center. To stable. I knew the way, I knew the directions. I knew it was possible.
So I did the work. I gave myself space. I prayed. I thought. I questioned. I forgave (okay, I started forgiving – effort counts).
I found center again.
Today is still rougher than that perfect moment of knowing I was okay, but I know I am still on the other side of the pain and I know I can get back to that perfect moment.
I know how.
I think that’s most of the battle really – knowing that there is peace out there and you will find it again. It’s just about making it through to the other side.
You’ve got it, even when it feels like you don’t.