Since I’m single and not exactly in a hotbed of male activity, the question has come up more than once. Frequently accompanied by “so and so met her husband that way”.

I think it confuses people that I’m so “online” yet resist online dating.

I’ve always hated the bars, the meat market, the feeling of having to sell myself.

Over Christmas Break, I sat in front of one of the sites and scrolled though available options. Just about broke out in hives just from the looking. It felt skeevy and wrong.

For me.

This is one of those times where my gut pings no-no-no. I’m content to listen.

Then my therapist gave me the challenge of being open to opportunities, getting out of the house, trying new things.

Last night Alex and I went to Amanda’s house and he was in little boy heaven playing Wii with her boys. I met Amanda* who puts dirty words on fine china and makes buttons with Firefly and Dr Who references. They baked vegan cookies. I met the daughter of my 6th grade art teacher and we both had that “ooo weird small world” feeling. I met the girl who ALSO spent Christmas watching Leverage commentaries. The girl from the art store was there. They have sweet stuff. There was the guy and girl having a baby – who were super into gardening – which is something that fascinates me, but looks like work. (Says the girl who used a hand saw to cut hard wood to finish the flooring project.)

I had a great night. I left the yellow house a little better for the conversation and the people I met.

There’s what I need right now. People. Opportunities. I have someone tucked back in a corner of my heart, I might look at that again someday. Today and for the next little while, Alex and I are busy doing new things and shoring up this new existence. No compatibility profile needed.


** two hours after I hit post, I realized 2 things – this post is all about not trying online dating – and I met Amanda on Twitter. Second – it didn’t occur to me to mention that detail when I wrote this. Weird.