It’s one thing to declare I’m going to be a TFB* and look out for myself and demand better.

It’s another to sit in this breathless fear after sending a message to someone with the reminder, hey, remember me? here’s a fucking tip – answer when I talk to you (paraphrased).

The good girl pleaser (see also: doormat) me is thinking, “what if they don’t like me after this?”.

The cynic is saying, “Well no shit, buy a clue, they DON’T CARE now, they won’t care what you say anyway.”

The growing person soothes, “Better to know now instead of waiting for later to prove that you aren’t a priority.”

It’s just time for me to stop being kind to people who will only take and never share. My kindness is something I’ve tried to cultivate. I think now it is time for me to prune it back, be choosier about who I share my kindness with.

Starting with cropping some people from the facebook list that gets to see the links to here. Why, why, WHY am I trying so hard to share myself with those who just don’t get it?

I’m growing tougher skin. Right now it is very, very difficult to have the stomach for it.

*Total Fucking Bitch