I need ET to walk up to my heart with his glowy finger and say “OUCH“. Cause that’s where I’m at, folks.

Tight throat, tears seeping out. Fuck I hurt.

Yesterday as I was taking a nap – because growth causes the need for sleep . . . and ice cream . . . I was trying to decide what I could actively do differently when the going gets shitty.

All I came up with was just learning to let it flow. If I froze before, then maybe just breathing through it and keeping it moving in me and out of me would be one way to cope.

So I try.

In related news – I am on day 8 of no smoking, I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought better for me food . . . which I will begin eating after the Moose Tracks ice cream is gone, my house is not a disaster, and I have started on the making the office into an office project – which will be a very very good thing when it is complete. I have had my bi-monthly dealing with the Dude (which if you think that’s a great way to start out a Thursday morning, I have a hammer to hit yourself in the head with.)

It may not be a glowy, sunshiny, unicorn glitter farting kind of day up in here, but I’m continuing to beat this life into something I love. (Ps I lurve you, Sarah.)

Just for that – a photo of an actual rainbow farting unicorn.