The importance of having your people.

My friend ended a relationship last week. One of those relationships that at one point was “the one”.

It obviously wasn’t and when it was clear they were both done, they ended it, but were left with the logistics of  living arrangements and finances that do not as easily separate just because both people are done.

Last night came the confessions … He had cheated on her … Before she knew anything was wrong … So not as a reaction to a fight or anything specific … Just because … And in the aftermath, his feelings about it clouded any good that was in the relationship … All the while  she was blaming herself for the problems … Not knowing about his guilt.

Then he went and posted it on Facebook, and as the best friend and protector, I naturally went for the throat … Because everyone deserves to have that friend who will bare her teeth and protect and fight. Frankly I should have been scared of myself as my mouth flattened and I pulled on my mental fighting armor, ready to act in ways she wasn’t ready to act (like throwing him out of the house she pays for, regardless of if he had a place to go … She is patient and kind … I am not)

She got a text from a beautiful hearted friend who reminded her of how far she has come, and asking her to please not close herself off and please keep her heart open, because even though she was hurting, it wasn’t a reason to lose the growth she had fought so hard for.

I commented, well this is why you have more than one friend.

Then we laughed. It is so true. We need people, all sorts of people, the warrior, the soother, and all the other spots we need people for.

Sadly, we even need the person who hurts us, there are always lessons to be learned, we just need our people to help see what those lessons are, fight the fights we are not ready to fight, and soothe us when we need.