Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

When the finances hit the fan.

I read something in August or so about a couple who consciously let go of their home because they knew they couldn’t keep up with it and they could choose a life or choose to keep paying faceless mortgage brokers. In August I again paid all my bills and my minimum payments on the credit card and felt all the things you feel when things are tight but not quite tragic. In September.. Read More

The Veil

I woke up this morning talking to Dad. About how he was bigger than life. Knowing that if he were alive, he would still be making mistakes that would keep us apart … me mad, him stubborn. He felt very close. Once I was up, I saw the date. August 16th. He was born 69 years ago today. No wonder he was hanging out … he was waiting for a Happy Birthday. (Attention.. Read More

AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge – Days Six through Ten

Ah the AdvoCare cleanse. I farted in front of M’Love more in these last four days than I have in the last four years combined. Still better than overtrusting a pizza roll fart (with catastrophic results), but wow. Doing a little research, there is Niacin in a lot of the products – so I think I get how they are talking about “toxins” – but Niacin is (maybe) good for clearing the body of.. Read More

AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge – Days Four and Five

Not gonna lie. Day 4 was yesterday and it was hard. My body realized I’m not going to be feeding it all the things and revolted in hunger followed by a nap. We went to the races where I was climbing stairs in the humidity and was out of breath and uncomfortable. The voices in my head were all “you could be the one person who never loses weight on AdvoCate”. I was.. Read More

AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge – Days Two and Three

Wow. So AdvoCare might be made of the energy of a four year old on a sugar high. I have cleaned the living crap out of “The Messy Room” – moving boxes, throwing things out (Contractor sized trash bag so full I can’t move it. No Hulk Strength yet, I guess.) I can see the floor. Which is A Thing. Our bedroom is almost finished. I basically ate the same things Day Two.. Read More

AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge – Day One

I don’t have my Spark yet, so I drank a Plexus Slim. I’m willing to bet they are similar enough to keep me from a no coffee headache (My main goal of the day is to get through it without a no coffee migraine. It is 1:06pm and so far so good.) I took the morning Herbal Cleanse dose. I drank the Fiber (unflavored). It was not as bad as I expected. I.. Read More


This one word sums up everything I need to work on. Solution to a messy house? Mindfulness. Solution to my weight? Mindfulness. Solution to my money? Mindfulness. I simply need to stop and focus on what is in front of me. Simple concept. Difficult to do. I have been working on our bedroom, I repainted the closet – getting rid of the paint from a friend who isn’t a friend any more. I.. Read More

What do I call this?

Family legend has it that sometime in the spring of 1948, my grandfather was found in his shop beating a piece of metal with a hammer. He was beating some KKK emblem into something unrecognizable so no one would be able to own this thing of his father’s with pride. Missouri is a difficult place for race. It has been described as a home of covert racism rather than overt racism. (This from.. Read More

This little place of mine …

I’m gonna let it shine… I’m grateful for this place. I haven’t told anyone I’m writing, haven’t posted on Facebook links to these posts, even pretty sure the feed is busted and not going to people who have given a damn in the last eight years. But I’m grateful at the end of the day to have this place I created for myself and to come back to it. I’m grateful that I.. Read More

Hole around my heart?

There is something wrong near my heart and I don’t understand it. When I try to relax, especially when I need to go to sleep, there is this space around my heart that makes me feel uncomfortable. Like if I could massage it and get blood flowing to it would help. I don’t know what is wrong. I can’t stretch it, I can’t breathe it, I can’t fix it. It’s uncomfortable. It almost.. Read More

Stitch Fix #14

Renee C Genevieve Abstract Dot Print Blouse

This Fix was less of a hit than usual. First there was a pair of earrings – Zad Loni Hammered Leaf Drop Earrings – I didn’t take a picture of them but if you click a link, another blogger has them. I always wear the same earrings, so these didn’t tempt me – but it did make me realize I had not clicked to avoid earrings in my Stitch Fix Profile. Another reminder to.. Read More


I think I will have to hashtag them. Two years ago I bought a pile of shorts from the Gap because they were tailored and they fit. They don’t fit any more so I gave them away. I’ve reached that curious point of weight where I haven’t felt terrible until the last two days. Now I actually FEEL terrible. As much from the fact that I feel so terrible I just keep eating.. Read More

How long?

There is this girl. Super special to me. She is made of sunlight. And she is miserable. She’s not made to be miserable, she is made to shine, to glow, and to march to her own music. Her job sucks. It’s a short term suckage, so it won’t be forever, or even much longer in the big picture. I want to tell her to quit, because even though it isn’t that long, it.. Read More