Nov 19

NaBloPoMo 16 Nov 14

I’ve never been a hunter, my family didn’t get into it until later in life, so I didn’t grow up with it so much. Fish and frog legs, but not so much deer and turkey.

I never like seeing all the dead deer photos, the glassy dead eyes just get to me.

This was opening weekend for rifles in Missouri. I didn’t go, but I was awake to my foot being tickled 40 minutes before morning twilight. I was standing watching a deer’s insides removed a couple hours later.

Ten hours after that, I was standing by the next deer.

I patted her … Still warm and soft … Laying in the truck bed. I said Thank you for feeding me this winter. Which I meant. Yeah, it helped me cope, but still. Circle of life and all, and thanks for feeding me.

Up the hill we went. I had a hatchet and a knife and teachers.

and vinyl gloves. Uh yeah. Those are necessary.

I tried to close her eye (which reminded me of closing Dads eyes after he died … Which I am still not okay with) but the damn deer eye wouldn’t stay closed. Sigh.

Daddy issues and dead deer? Sure. Why not.

There in the scant snow falling, by the head lights of the truck, I gutted my first deer.

Hours later I had trouble sleeping. I am still not sure why.


Nov 19

NaBloPoMo 15 Nov 14

I have stared at my walls for about four years. There are weird angles in this house. Like someone was allergic to right angles or something. The worst corner has been in the living room where the fireplace is.

I painted the white fireplace the same cream that has been on the wall, and I painted over it with a beautiful blue (Sherwin Williams Bosphorus). I arranged the dustables toward the main wall to try to drag the eye across.

The resultimage


Nov 18

NaBloPoMo 14 Nov 14

Heather Spohr and I have the same chair. Which is something I have loved. Sadly, my cats have also loved it as their favorite scratching place.

Today I bought a super lame throw cover thing and did my best to staple the edges (till the staples ran out. Of course.)

The animals still adore it.



Nov 17

NaBloPoMo 13 Nov 14

Looking at my house, you would never think that I need things to be perfect.

But I do.

I struggle to sit here and write because it is not on MY computer. Even if I had MY computer I would struggle if I didn’t get to sit on my couch and was forced to sit in the kitchen.

I am looking at one wall in my living room that I have finished. A perfect blue and cream combo, project completed, knick knacks back in place.

Cannot work on the next wall because I don’t have the level and can’t put up the tape to paint the perfect horizontal line so I’m stuck until I have the tools.

So it’s hard to start and then I have trouble with project completion so, um yeah, Imma just watch some more Private Practice.


Nov 13

NaBloPoMo 12 Nov 14

You know what makes me furious.


Blogging on an iPad. It is cruel. I spend so much time screaming that I can’t even write. I cant backspace or link or much of anything.

i used to hack around in code. I used to Do this. I used to be good and now I scream at an iPad and threaten to punch it, and all I want to do is this, to write.

and you know what really also sucks? It’s really hard to look for a computer without a computer to search the Internet for a computer.


Nov 13

NaBloPoMo 11 Nov 14

A couple of lifetimes ago, I rode in a limo with Shelly Kramer and and Brene’ Brown.

I heard Brene’ speak, I had her sign my books.

It has been years and I still remember that “at least” isn’t helpful and empathy and sympathy are not the same things.

I came across this brilliant video of her talk this week. Watch it, it will help.

Maybe this link.


Nov 11

NaBloPoMo 10 Nov 14

I looked at my living room this morning with dread.

image Then I took a breath, set the stopwatch and had it clean in 21 minutes, 29 seconds.

Lesson here is just freaking do it.


Nov 10

NaBloPoMo 9 Nov 14

My sister in law got me into essential oils over the summer, and I have found some great benefits from them.

Then came the Ebola virus in the US (never mind that I heard about Ebola for the first time in 1994, now that it affects white peeps on US soil, apparently now we all care.)

Then came people making claims that specific blends of essential oils could … Cure Ebola.

Which, come on. No one has any proof of that, no one has any tests. Hey, if a nurse had taken some to Liberia and used it and found that survival rates were improved when the oils were used, sure. This wasn’t that, these were cute Pinterest graphics with misty background photos. Come on.

Next came someone who filed a complaint with the FDA, because, yeah, you have people making wild claims. Unfortunately it led to three companies basically getting cease and desist letters from the FDA to shut it down, shut down people making claims about what their products did, no matter what.

Which has pros and cons, the biggest con is that it restricts the use of Evidence Based Practice, which has become a very important part of science based communities sharing experiences without conducting large scale studies and writing awkward papers that no one can decipher anyway.

The jerk in me finally came out, and I have searched and I can not find an answer I am looking for… Does the FDA approve water for treatment of dehydration? Seriously, we all know it works, but has the FDA said it works?

(now I wrote this because I really am curious, but on the off chance you want to check out essential oils you can go to and my number is 1906175 (and I would link that but this franking iPad is the least blogger friendly contraption ever invented and I can’t, like physically can not make it link and I am tired of cursing at it.)



Nov 08

NaBloPoMo 8 Nov 14

The one where I did a ton of Christmas shopping.

I really do like to be able to support the small business, and I like products that are not full of garbage.

Enter the Argyle Cosmetics pre sale.

I spent about a hundred dollars, it will ship by December 1st, They are amazing products, and I got to support a small business woman I know that hundred dollars is more appreciated here than by the big box store, and I can feel good that I am giving high quality gifts this year.


Nov 08

NaBloPoMo 7 Nov 14

Why yes, this is Friday’s post on Saturday.

I have spent two weeks kind of following the FlyLady concepts of cleaning a house.

Additionally, I have figured out the four things that destroy our house when I don’t pay attention.





So every day I hit those four things and then I do the FlyLady weekly things. I have made decent progress on the living room and the kitchen.

Now we have two adults, two boys, two dogs, and two cats. My progress? Shot. The boys have pulled out all the dishes, they discovered the room with the closed door that hides the treasures of everything that has no home.

Which, I know the mess is a sign of life, of joy, even. We are happy and active.

But I think I may have a new goal of getting rid of just everything that we don’t totally love. So when things are strung all over the house, it is at least what we want.



Nov 07

NaBloPoMo 6 Nov 14

Ugh, friends, ugh.

I am old enough that I should be a grown up. I should have a clean house, be able to cook decent meals, develop my creative career that I want.

But no. I continue to struggle with routines that keep the house picked up and running well. Meals are a mystery. I have … I will say hundreds, but I know it is more than that, dollars worth of hats and fleece ready to sell and I just have yet to get it together.

I quit my job that was killing me and giving me a pharma addiction, I saved money so I could be independent, and now that I am, I always want to be independent. There is so much I am willing to give up for this …

But I am still struggling with these basic routines … And I feel frozen.


Nov 06

NaBloPoMo 5 Nov 15 When Will Grey’s Anatomy Season 10 be on Netflix?

Yeah. So when will Greys season 10 be on Netflix?

Now. Right now. November 5, 2014. Run to it. So good.



Nov 05

NaBloPoMo 4 Nov 14

This is what I call a place holder post. No deep thoughts, just a darn near perfect day.

I voted and helped vote down Missouri Amendment 3 that would have done awful things to our schools.

I got my glasses adjusted so they hurt less.

I bought groceries.

I had lunch with My Person -Female (aka MPF).

Kaiser came home and reported that to tell me about his school day, he would have to tell me about recess, which would involve using a word he could not use at school. Then told me recess was a motherfucker.

I made dinner for three.

My Person -Male (aka MPF aka M’Love) finished watching Sons of Anarchy and rejoiced that we would not have to see (name redacted for spoilers) anymore after getting stabbed in the head with a freaking BBQ fork.

It has been a near perfect day. Today I love my reality.