Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

11 days ish

You remember that whole Happening adage – “Let go and let God”? Well seriously, I think someone made that up in a desperate hour when they couldn’t take it anymore. Someone paraphrased Scarlett O’Hara’s “I’ll think about that tomorrow”, crossed it with Engel’s “Sometimes ya just gotta say what the fuck” and decided to make it non crass, and something that could be said in front of grandmothers. Cuz seriously,.. Read More

Every once in a while….

This thought occurs to me: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, I’m having a baby. Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, WHAT am I going to do? Oh panic, oh panic, I can’t breathe, everything is going to change, Oh my God, Oh my God, panic, panic, life is going to be completely different, Oh my God, Oh my God, I can’t breathe, I.. Read More

12 days or so

So, there are things about pregnancy that I was dreading, and I’m pretty sure that there are different things about pregnancy that different people dread. Like sitting in childbirth class (which is worthless by the way – these classes are geared for people who only have female friends and mothers who will NOT tell it like it is) and one woman said her only concern about pregnancy was that she.. Read More

13 days (+/- 14)

Okay, well clearly not minus 14 anymore. We were betting at school that you’d either come today and quickly since we have carpet cleaner, realtor and house painters – but since the carpet cleaner has been here and gone, it’s raining so the house painters aren’t coming, and the realtor is due in 50 minutes – I’m thinking you are going to shoot for the 21st like I’ve said all.. Read More


What I learned about inertia during 1st trimester: An object in motion stays in motion, an object at rest stays at zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What I learned about inertia during 3rd trimester: An object in motion stays in careful waddling motion, an object at rest stays at at rest …. until it has to pee.

15 days and counting (+/- 14)

Favorite moment of the week. In the office at work, we have a men’s one holer bathroom, and a women’s one holer bathroom. About a month or so ago, I was waiting for the women’s to open up, tempting myself with the idea of just using the men’s. When the women’s room opened up – out came a male teacher. So I took this as a sign that either bathroom.. Read More

One thing no one warned me about ….

I had to pee in a cup at my last midwife appointment. No big deal. Till I realized that my preggers belly blocked the view of the pee and the cup. I was having to shoot blind so to speak. Scout really didn’t understand my amusement at the whole deal. But he did point out that he has external parts, so this really isn’t an issue for him.

16 days BA (Before Alex) – Give or take a few days.

So I’m planning ahead. I have a pregnancy book that I really like – “The Pregnancy Countdown Book” by Susan Magee that has something for each of the 280 (+/-14) days of pregnancy. I decided that clearly the best idea for me is to mirror this idea and write about the first 365 of Alex. I also decided that the chances of me doing this if no one was watching.. Read More