Scout is up and at the office. This is the longest since Alex ws born that I’ve been in charge of him – all but 30 minutes since last night at 1030. We’re doing okay. I don’t get much done bc of the whol “I won’t sleep if you aren’t with me” thing. But I got decent sleep, got breakfast, went on walk to grocery store, still need lunch, have updated my budget, approved offer on house purchase, and been taking notes on alex’s sleeping today. So not all bad.

Oh, decided to give him water in his bottle part of the time. My milk supply is way low and I can’t afford to have him nipping little ounces here and there only to run out at 4am (like this morning). My plan was to pump a lot today to get my supply bck up. I’ve done okay but I’m still behind.

Oh it got ugly today. I wasn’t able to pump because the Kaiser found new exciting ways to scream his guts out when not held. He wouldn’t nurse. I didn’t want to use formula. It was ugly. I didn’t like the images in my head of flying baby across the room into a wall.

Tonight I knew I was setting myself up for getting him too comfy against me and I wouldn’t be able to pump w/out waking him and setting off the chain of events again. So I was moving away from him to pump when I thought wtf, might as well try nursing one more time.

I literally pulled the boob out, handed it to him, I swear he said “hm, don’t mind if I do” and he opened his mouth and nursed for 10 mins till he was completely passed out asleep.

On his back.

His BACK people.

Alone. On his back.

Happy two month birthday bud. I love you, but I also love that I can sit four feet away from you and we are both okay with that.