Workin’ a nerve
*This post is going to be all about boobs. In keeping with my prior entries, please go check this out. She’s my new hero.*
I have boobs. Big boobs. I could share boobs with each of my readers and still not end up flat chested. Pregnancy and nursing, not doing me any favors.
I get really pissed off when I have to go bra shopping. I also get really pissed off when I hear about how we should all get fitted because most women are wearing the wrong size bra.
Well, yes, when all American bra manufacturers assume that if you have big boobs that you also have a big rib cage.
When I can’t walk into Smutty’s Secret, or Tarzhay, or any freaking department store and actually find a bra that fits, yes, I get bitter and pissy.
I’ve been ashamed of my boobs since puberty hit. I remember not even wanting the flower on the bra because it was too much fluff. Then I remember not being able to find a bra that fit. When I finally found a bra at Nordy’s and they graciously took a 38 and altered it to be a 32, I had my first well fitting bra – at age 22. After that I found a store in Phoenix that I spent most of my paychecks at for many months until I moved away. Then I started ordering online. When we went to Europe last year, we specifically went to London so I could get bras here. (And those bitches REALLY should send me free stuff for all the free advertising I’ve done for them over the years.)
So here’s my secret. I’ve told you my weight, but now I tell you this.
When I was measured last June I was a 32 H.
There. I said it.
(And don’t even get me started on how fucking impossible it has been to find a nursing bra that isn’t a complete joke. I go braless most of the time – because it’s easier, and quite frankly, they aren’t getting any perkier so I might as well be comfortable. Some day I won’t be nursing anymore and I will hoist them back into pretty pretty princess bras. For now it’s all boring nude all the time.)
However, there’s hope, this week I get to go here. (Man, I’m pimpin’ business for way too many people in this post. Believe me, I’m getting nothing monetary out of it, this is strictly public service announcement.) They should have *something* to fit and make me smile. AND I just discovered that when you go to the ‘search for a store‘ link they actually give places that are NOT their own company. I find it completely amazing that a business is so committed to hooking women up with the correct size that they will refer a customer to the “competition”. I suddenly have a whole newfound respect for a company. I might have to buy two bras from them this week!
Sports bras are as much of a problem. It was my comment over here that prompted this rant.
And also because I’m a bit of an attention hog, and since I posted the freakiest boobie shit I’ve ever seen over there – I totally wanted to share it with ya’ll too. (Even though Kelly totally sent me link love.)
It’s not completely safe for work, if for no other reasons than your gasps and snorts may attract some attention.
It’s … shocking all right.
(I’m ending my rant here. Please ask questions, send this on to people you think might benefit from it, I’m a little obsessed with the topic because the happier I am about my girls, the happier I am in general – I can’t be the only one.)
September 17th, 2007 at 9:27 am
As one of the people you’ve spread the word to about Bravissimo, I definitely appreciate it!! SO nice to know there are bra-makers out there that make bras in all sizes and pretty patterns even in the big sizes!
September 17th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Oh please don’t share boobs with me…I *so* have my own
September 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
I feel your pain. When I have to buy a condom I get real question mark looks from the check-out gal when I produce a box of MAGNUMS. Sadly, even they don?｢どｨび｢t fit.
Okay, I?｢どｨび｢ll keep a lookout for any ladies that I think will, uh-hmm, need the recommendation of place to buy the right fit bra.
If I get slapped, I?｢どｨび｢m suing you.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Heh. The comments already!
I am, erhm, well endowed, but my cup size is proportional to my back size. So it’s not that tough for me, certainly not on par with your situation.
But nursing did me no favors.
I empathize.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I know, this is really out of my league but thought I’d reciprocate a post from a post by Dawn. I’m really being nice, silly nice. If I’ve embarrased, 1000 pardons. Love the post.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Good for you. I can’t relate to this as even nursing I have always had a manageable, sports-playing friendly top half. I did wear a size 8 shoe in third grade, so I had my share of freakishly sized according to “normal standards” issues in department stores.
Thanks for commenting on my site, the stories we’ll tell as we share meeting screen to screen and talking boobs.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
I wish you could share with me as I sadly have the opposite problem. Breastfeeding greatly reduced the girls and I could probably buy my bras in the kiddie department if I chose to!
September 17th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Manufacturers of ALL things for women should get a clue. I often wonder how we can put a man on the moon, but I can’t find pants that fit, or in your case, a bra!
September 17th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Hahahahaha! I was a D before babies and when I had my first 9 1/2 years ago, there was no bra anywhere that would hold those (bleepers) up. I feel your pain.
(Oh, Audubon Ron, I think you rock.)
September 18th, 2007 at 2:02 am
I recently got fitted for a good bra for the first time in my life and it has made such a difference!! I hear you loud and clear. If the girls aren’t happy…we’re not.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:19 am
Ouch! I thought I was bodacious as a 36 F. Lawd!
Hey, speaking of boobs, check out this attack on nursing:
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2007/09/17/blogs-abuzz-when-bill-maher-slams-lactivism.aspx#comments
September 18th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Wow! That shock-absorber demo was amazing!
I’m a 38 G…and usually cram my goodies into any triple-D I can find at local department stores, because over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders are SPENDY!!!
Thanks for all the great links! (You should TOTALLY get some free stuff from all the bra people!)
September 18th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
We might actually be the same person. Nursing was DRAMA trying to find a bra that wouldn’t go “boink” in the middle of a meeting if I didn’t pump before hand. Good like finding your mammary nirvana!
October 2nd, 2007 at 6:07 am
[...] working through my shame/embarrassment of the insane size of my girls since puberty. (As I’ve mentioned). I’ve passed up going swimming many times over the years because there was no swimsuit that [...]