*This post is going to be all about boobs. In keeping with my prior entries, please go check this out. She’s my new hero.*

I have boobs. Big boobs. I could share boobs with each of my readers and still not end up flat chested. Pregnancy and nursing, not doing me any favors.

I get really pissed off when I have to go bra shopping. I also get really pissed off when I hear about how we should all get fitted because most women are wearing the wrong size bra.

Well, yes, when all American bra manufacturers assume that if you have big boobs that you also have a big rib cage.

When I can’t walk into Smutty’s Secret, or Tarzhay, or any freaking department store and actually find a bra that fits, yes, I get bitter and pissy.

I’ve been ashamed of my boobs since puberty hit. I remember not even wanting the flower on the bra because it was too much fluff. Then I remember not being able to find a bra that fit. When I finally found a bra at Nordy’s and they graciously took a 38 and altered it to be a 32, I had my first well fitting bra – at age 22. After that I found a store in Phoenix that I spent most of my paychecks at for many months until I moved away. Then I started ordering online. When we went to Europe last year, we specifically went to London so I could get bras here. (And those bitches REALLY should send me free stuff for all the free advertising I’ve done for them over the years.)

So here’s my secret. I’ve told you my weight, but now I tell you this.

When I was measured last June I was a 32 H.

There. I said it.

(And don’t even get me started on how fucking impossible it has been to find a nursing bra that isn’t a complete joke. I go braless most of the time – because it’s easier, and quite frankly, they aren’t getting any perkier so I might as well be comfortable. Some day I won’t be nursing anymore and I will hoist them back into pretty pretty princess bras. For now it’s all boring nude all the time.)

However, there’s hope, this week I get to go here. (Man, I’m pimpin’ business for way too many people in this post. Believe me, I’m getting nothing monetary out of it, this is strictly public service announcement.) They should have *something* to fit and make me smile. AND I just discovered that when you go to the ‘search for a store‘ link they actually give places that are NOT their own company. I find it completely amazing that a business is so committed to hooking women up with the correct size that they will refer a customer to the “competition”. I suddenly have a whole newfound respect for a company. I might have to buy two bras from them this week!

Sports bras are as much of a problem. It was my comment over here that prompted this rant.

And also because I’m a bit of an attention hog, and since I posted the freakiest boobie shit I’ve ever seen over there – I totally wanted to share it with ya’ll too. (Even though Kelly totally sent me link love.)

It’s not completely safe for work, if for no other reasons than your gasps and snorts may attract some attention.


It’s … shocking all right.

(I’m ending my rant here. Please ask questions, send this on to people you think might benefit from it, I’m a little obsessed with the topic because the happier I am about my girls, the happier I am in general – I can’t be the only one.)