Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.


This author hasn't added his/her bio.

Laugh and the world laughs with you

So Monday morning I woke with the determination to find something that resembled a schedule. Alex was napping, so I went downstairs, took out smoothie ingredients from the fridge – yogurt, milk, strawberries – and from the cabinet – whey powder, flax seed, peanut butter, oatmeal. I made smoothie, I poured coffee, I made waffles (in the toaster), I poured OJ. I put everything away, went upstairs, Alex was awake,.. Read More

Tits on a Boar Phenomena

Had an AWESOME conversation with my sister in law today about how our husbands are these wonderful intelligent men who every few days just take a stupid pill and don’t know what to do with the baby. Her example was Deacon asking her when E’s diaper had last been changed – she said a couple of hours. He asked if it needed to be changed. She told him she would.. Read More

Another Milestone

It’s always the dumb things that make the big events sink in. I can’t remember what randomness made me realize Scout and I were married – but last night I was fixing my address book and searched our last name and there was my name and Scout’s name. Like I haven’t seen this a million times. But something about seeing Scout’s name in my email takes me back to when.. Read More

15 minutes past Mother’s Day

Oh yeah, Alex can projectile. He was out of sorts last night, and I wondered where he was putting all his food. Would settle him down, put him down, he’d wake up about the time I got the covers pulled to my chin. Went through that routine a few times, then he was settled long enough to hear that ‘urp’. By the time I made it across the room to.. Read More

Mother’s Day

Motherhood has not made me kinder and gentler. It makes me grumpy when it appears it opens the door to have inane conversations about “Do I have a good baby?” Well duh, I could have birthed the son of satan and I wouldn’t realize it. I’d wonder about the horn poking me under the chin when I snuggled with him, but I wouldn’t realize what was really up. So I.. Read More

Being the Mom

I’m the Mom. I’m the one with the milk on some part of my clothing. I’m the one who voluntarily and automatically does the dishes. I’m the one who hasn’t left the house without the baby. I’m the one with the post delivery hormone induced acne. I’m the one with the tiny baby fingernail claw marks on my neck. I’m the one who when Alex is screaming and won’t chill.. Read More

Watching Daddy

It’s a huge change from two weeks ago. Scout’s gone from “where’s the manual” to, I think, outdoing me in the parenting category. He’s figured out how to feed Alex and change a diaper at the same time, he’s better at the diaper changing than I am, he needs less sleep, he can handle the slippery post bath baby, he’s better at letting him cry every once in a while.. Read More

Clearly Insane

What with me pumping every three hours, we’ve tried to start sleeping at 9pm in 3 hour shifts. (which would explain why it is 343am and I am awake). I think we’ve been swapping off on who sleeps first – fortunately we haven’t both been to the wall exhausted at the same time yet. Last night Scout mowed the lawn and I got attacked by the sleepies before he got.. Read More

All In

It’s been a hard couple of days to live in my head. 1 am for some reason is the time some demon comes to visit. The hour of all my fears setting their teeth into me. Two nights ago those teeth took the form of remembering a story relayed by a holocaust survivor about what happened to his infant niece. (And I’ll leave it at that, sharing the nightmare won’t.. Read More

Gift of the Magi

On Thursday, Scout was strung out. I could tell that he was having trouble because testosterone brings on less instant maternal instincts than the ovaries do. Well, that and he hasn’t done things like sing “The Ants Go Marching” for 45 minutes while trying to get Aly to go to sleep, he hasn’t ever been alone in a house with a hungry baby and a slow bottle warmer, things like.. Read More

Alex Day 10

Thoughts on Goldenseal: I think it’s good for keeping the belly button non gooey while the cord bit is trying to fall off. Otherwise, once the nasty cord scab falls off, air drying is the way to go. More from the “advice” category: They told me in the hospital that Always pads are too drying to use after having a baby – at least in the immediate weeks, that they.. Read More

Alex Day 9

The cord stump falling off sucks. Alex was done eating yesterday and had fallen asleep beside me, I was talking to mom and suddenly realized he was wide awake and looking directly at me. Like he SAW me. He had tears in his little red eyes and was breathing very carefully. He was looking at me like “Mommy, something hurts, I’m confused, I don’t understand.” So I picked him up.. Read More