Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.


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Okay, I just watched the movie “Saved!” on (save me) the Oxygen channel. I actually really liked it – other than the fact that Jena Malone was walking around 39 weeks pregnant in a prom dress and not bitching non stop : ) But I thought they did a pretty decent job at it. Even the Mandy Moore character who strikes a certain resemblance to ……. managed to put herself.. Read More

9 days and working on being homeless

So we’ve had two showings of the house on Monday, we got a call this morning that the very first people who looked at the house want to come back and look tonight. Scary. Good Scary, but Scary.

Indignity of the day

While I did get to avoid being “checked” (or as Becky says “I sure don’t miss those frequent checkups where they dig into you like they are looking for their car keys.”) when I had to leave the “sample” I did pee all over my hand. Sigh.

34 years old

My husband is 34 years old (I think….) His mother just put HIS baby clothes in the mail for us to use.

10 days ish

Okay, so there are a few perks to being pregnant. 1. You can eat as much as you want and really never feel guilty2. Watching the baby move in your stomach – I could do this for hours, like a cat watching a fishbowl3. Getting a laugh out of the midwife who said she didn’t need to “check” you at your visit – her comment “if I can’t see the.. Read More

11 days ish

You remember that whole Happening adage – “Let go and let God”? Well seriously, I think someone made that up in a desperate hour when they couldn’t take it anymore. Someone paraphrased Scarlett O’Hara’s “I’ll think about that tomorrow”, crossed it with Engel’s “Sometimes ya just gotta say what the fuck” and decided to make it non crass, and something that could be said in front of grandmothers. Cuz seriously,.. Read More

Every once in a while….

This thought occurs to me: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, I’m having a baby. Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, WHAT am I going to do? Oh panic, oh panic, I can’t breathe, everything is going to change, Oh my God, Oh my God, panic, panic, life is going to be completely different, Oh my God, Oh my God, I can’t breathe, I.. Read More

12 days or so

So, there are things about pregnancy that I was dreading, and I’m pretty sure that there are different things about pregnancy that different people dread. Like sitting in childbirth class (which is worthless by the way – these classes are geared for people who only have female friends and mothers who will NOT tell it like it is) and one woman said her only concern about pregnancy was that she.. Read More

13 days (+/- 14)

Okay, well clearly not minus 14 anymore. We were betting at school that you’d either come today and quickly since we have carpet cleaner, realtor and house painters – but since the carpet cleaner has been here and gone, it’s raining so the house painters aren’t coming, and the realtor is due in 50 minutes – I’m thinking you are going to shoot for the 21st like I’ve said all.. Read More


What I learned about inertia during 1st trimester: An object in motion stays in motion, an object at rest stays at zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What I learned about inertia during 3rd trimester: An object in motion stays in careful waddling motion, an object at rest stays at at rest …. until it has to pee.

15 days and counting (+/- 14)

Favorite moment of the week. In the office at work, we have a men’s one holer bathroom, and a women’s one holer bathroom. About a month or so ago, I was waiting for the women’s to open up, tempting myself with the idea of just using the men’s. When the women’s room opened up – out came a male teacher. So I took this as a sign that either bathroom.. Read More

One thing no one warned me about ….

I had to pee in a cup at my last midwife appointment. No big deal. Till I realized that my preggers belly blocked the view of the pee and the cup. I was having to shoot blind so to speak. Scout really didn’t understand my amusement at the whole deal. But he did point out that he has external parts, so this really isn’t an issue for him.