Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.


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I’m a pretty intervention free kind of pregnant woman. Alex has till 840am on Tuesday before the gentlest of the medical type interventions begin. So if you’d wanna say a prayer or whatever that this boy decides he wants out between now and then…. In the words of Bill Lumbergh – “That’d be greeeeeaaaat.” On the flip side of the medical interventions are those we can try at home. Nipple.. Read More

First Day Home

I think I’m nesting. But not in a clean the house kind of way, in an I never want to leave the house kind of way. I just want to stay home, read a book, stretch, relax, nap… I’m living the life of Tavish. I’m doing nothing, and it’s everything I thought it could be.

Last Day of Work

I didn’t know when I went to bed last night that today would be my last day of work. But when I got in the car this morning with Scout to go to work (late). I knew. When I walked into work. I knew. While I was reading the end of a book to my 5th hour class. I knew. While I was reading that book something shifted in me,.. Read More

Day 284

Today I spent screwing my head on from yesterday – I’ll tell about that someday. But for now, it’s time to sleep.

Nominate me for the Nobel Peace Prize

Seriously. I have figured out some serious shit today. In reading the book The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead the author talks about “Man Ears”. To quickly sum up – Man Ears is what all men have that make it so that everything we say somehow becomes an invitation for sex. Example: “Let’s watch a movie” becomes “I.. Read More


Annoyed with the midwife today. Wtf is it with people and the freak out over OMG YOU DIDN’T POP THIS KID OUT ON THE DUE DATE WE MADE UP FROM THIN FUCKING AIR? Never mind that her “exam” was so fucking rough I finally asked her if she was wearing a ring when her knuckle was pushing through my taint (Okay fine, women don’t have a taint, but you get.. Read More


I’ve been crampy for a couple of hours. I’m sure it’s just wishful thinking…. but wouldn’t it be nice….


I started arranging the washcloths at Restoration Hardware today – they were messed up and I was compulsively correcting them. Hopefully that is a good sign!

Day 282

Incoherent, sleepy, achy, gaining weight by merely looking at food. Come on Alex, join the world.

Day 281.5

I shopped today. People thought I was due weeks from now – flattering. Bought clothes that I’ll get to wear soon – or now if I’m stubborn about it. I keep trying to connect my heart with Alex’s. It sounds sweet, but the majority of my communication from my heart to his is “please be born, please be born, please be born now.”

Day 281

Oh boy. “Overdue”. Big whoop. I’m so relieved to have a couple of days off so I don’t have to deal with people from work and all the comments. I think Scout’s ready for me to stay home just so I don’t come home and complain. One of them started asking me the routine list of dumb questions yesterday at 728am, (when I’d woken up at 647am), before I had.. Read More