Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

I Fell in Love – A MommyNAlex Story

It took four and a half years. Not for me the head over heels with my little boy when he was born . . . not that day . . . month . . . year . . . or the years after. Scout and Alex bonded on sight. As Scout took care of his tiny bits with so much vaseline . . . you knew that daddy and that.. Read More

Why These People Ask Me to Guest Blog is Beyond Me…

Actually, I begged and begged to be a guest blogger. And for some reason, I was told I could, wheee! I blog here if you find this post in the least part entertaining. If you don’t, well, don’t leave me any mean remarks. My feelings are easily hurt. Now for the entertaining part…I contemplated telling you about the week I started dating my husband. But that involves bath rugs, lots.. Read More

Tell your Birth Story

Lotus is asking for birth stories, and as that woman loves my BEWBS, I have to give her what she’s asked for. I wrote the longest birth story in the history of birth stories, for you, for today, I’m reposting the last part, or the “good part” if you will. If you want the whole thing, click at the beginning or the birth story tag and have at it. (The.. Read More

I love y’all

I do, it’s true. Here’s Proof One: I *cleaned* for you. And Lisa is right – of course I had a method. Of course I did. But just so no one is feeling all tight of breath over my system, I have rearranged it for you. And no. No you may not ask to see the “Desktop” folder. *** Here’s Proof Two: Seriously. Thank you, each of you, for commenting.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter Six – Hello baby

(The birth story series starts here.) Scout had his last day of work, we celebrated by going to Target and buying … whatever we wanted. Like two drunks on a final bender. I woke around 430 to pee. I wandered to the bathroom in the dark, realizing I was rather awake. I felt a cramp. Oh please. I started writing the times of these cramps. I breathed a sigh of.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter Five … The Meconium Feelings

(The birth story series starts here.) You remember meconium? That black, sticky tar that would.not.come.off? That’s how these emotions feel in my heart. I’m actually apprehensive to write this. I can’t figure out how to do it. I want to get it out, I’d like to be thorough, I’d like to not have you eyeroll and leave halfway through. I can’t figure out how is best. So I’m just going.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter Four – Why I’m a brain and not a jock.

(The birth story series starts here.) Dudes, I’m not athletic. I don’t understand how my body is supposed to work when it comes to physical activity. I cover most of my illustrious sports history here. I was in college in a PE class for Elementary Ed majors before it clicked with me that to throw a ball, I needed to think about the process while I was doing it, just.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter Three – Birth of our Godson

(The birth story series starts here.) Ten years ago today our godson was born. C. had gotten up the morning of the 9th, rushed to work (no breakfast), rushed to her OB appointment (no lunch) and got sent over to the (teaching) hospital for induction. How many bad things do you count in that paragraph? She was induced sometime that afternoon. We arrived shortly after 5am the next morning, just.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter Two – Family Tradition

(The birth story series starts here.) My mom had the largest influence on my perception of childbirth. She’d had endometriosis and told about laying in bed and focusing on the second hand sweeping around the face of the clock in the hot midwest summer, trying to focus on anything but the pain, filling super duper diaper sized Kotex by the hour as her body recovered. She knew cramps. That being.. Read More

Birth Story Chapter One – The Fertility Joke

My cycle has been completely crazy since I got my first period. Never have I had a regular cycle. In high school, I spent nine months without a period, and then spent agonizing days in the hot midwest summer, curled in bed waiting to die. Just like mom, so many years before. I went on the pill before my sophomore year of college to regulate my cycles. I had it.. Read More