Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

A mere 175 THOUSAND calories . . .

My goal is to lose 50 pounds by February 24, 2012. Which will be my . . . thirty . . . . uh . . . next birthday. 3500 calories to a pound. 50 pounds. 175000 calories to burn. I bought new gym shorts (XL), shirt (mens L) and shoes. I got on the scale at 188.4 today. I bought broccoli and vitamin C. I made a smoothie. I.. Read More

Gym Rat – Day Five

Exercise – Elliptical, Bike, a touch of abs but they were sore from yesterday, so I did a little arm work with a piddly sadly felt kinda heavy 8 pound weight that was sitting on the floor. Calories burned – 500+ Weight – 185.1 Movie – Yes Man – I would watch it at the gym, unsure I’d pay to rent it. Better than the Guthy Renker informercial. Photos to.. Read More

Gym Rat – Day Four

Exercise – Elliptical, Bike, Ab work (no machines, just on the floor) Calories burned – 500+ Weight – 183 Tech – I tried out the earbud headphones @jenbshaw recommended – The pads were nice, but they still forced themselves out of my ears – both the small and the medium size. I pulled off the padding and used them without and they worked super well. So a win in the.. Read More

Gym Rat – Day Three

Exercise – I tried out the “Women’s Lounge” elliptical but couldn’t handle the Hoda and KLG action – so I moved to the Theatre where I could at least have HOPE of a movie. Didn’t happen. Sad panda. Calories burned – 500+ Movie – See above. Sadly none. There WAS some opera singer who shrieked her soprano parts. Shudder. Song – “Extraordinary” by Liz Phair – cuz I am mutha.. Read More

Gym Rat – Day Two

Exercise – elliptical oh dear deity and then cool down collapse on and hope my heart rate returns to normal on the recumbent bike Calories burned – 500+ Movie – 2012 – Mostly I was grateful they came in and turned off the 4th hour of the Today Show turned into Infomercial. I had no clue what the movie was (took at least 15 minutes for them to flash the.. Read More

Gym Rat – Day One

Exercise – elliptical and then cool down on the recumbent bike Calories burned – 500+ Movie – We are Marshall – eye candy, football and rousing speeches? Perfect workout movie. I sat on the bike and spun for a while just to watch more of it. “We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game . . . but we can not lose.” Word, Matthew, word… Read More

Dawn vs the Hotel Breakfast Buffet

I am getting mentally prepared for an improvement in food and movement. (aka “diet and exercise”) I have the hot pink workout shorts. I have the “moisture wicking” (aka “dear God I hope this sucks the sweat off my chubby form and makes me less miserable” fabric). I think this outfit is going to be like Casey’s Mormon Underwear. Rather than reminding me of a commitment to God, this one.. Read More


Look, I get it. I get that the whole MILF thing has evolved into some dumb ass “you must be perfect and look as if you’ve never been pregnant or looked at a cookie” mentality. I get that Britney gets called fat just because she doesn’t look like she used to – and that’s wrong. I get that Salma Hayek is taking a ration of shit because she actually looks.. Read More

Fitness Friday – for Flinger

Oh alliteration, you are SO much fun! (The Flinger reference is for her.) Knowing that I was due to deliver in April, it was safe to say that I had no expectations of being in my normal two piece by summer. (To explain, I buy 2 pieces b/c my top and bottom are so out of proportion to each other that I don’t normally have much of a choice in.. Read More

That darn scale.

It’s still fluctuating in the 164.5 area, but typically lower and more like 162.5. So not the stunning weight droppage I was hoping for. Today I feel okay about this. I’m proud of me for getting out of bed, for having a smoothie instead of potato chips, for Alex letting me do some of mama-baby yoga if not all of it. ?Ǭ†Here’s why.

Why the jeans?

With a predicted high of 96 degrees in the land of the vices today, why am I wearing 7 year old pair of repeatedly mended jeans? Because I freakin’ CAN. Why am I not unbuttoning the top button when I sit, even though it would make them more comfortable ? Because I’m freakin’ stubborn.

I might have detected the problem…

…with my weight loss. Actually, I’ve known it all along…. To be fair, it was Key Lime Pie day. It only comes around once a month, and I don’t know if it’s just a summer thing – I might not be able to get it next month. And I figured as long as I was there I might as well get a Peanut Butter Crack … I mean Concrete Mixer… Read More

Why Alex is a boy.

I don’t mean the XY XX genetic choices – but the why for me. The very thing I fear – the perpetual motion – is what I need in my life. I’m a sit on my ass kind of girl. In front of the tv, with some knitting, with a laptop, with some food, kind of girl. I was picked last for teams in gym, I got my glasses broken.. Read More