If I ever run into this woman I promise I will smack her around with one of my milk filled mammaries that wouldn’t fit into pretty lingerie BEFORE getting pregnant. In the meantime I’ll just quit fucking eating so “something” cute in my closet will fit that aren’t a pair of yoga pants and an old navy tshirt. Now what can I find that goes with little boy pee and spit up……. clearly something that needs to be drycleaned….. and that manicure … right….. my nail biting habit might be gross, but so is picking poop out from under perfectly manicured nails. As if I don’t have enough to freaking worry about, now I have to bounce out of bed and do my makeup? And I guess the ponytail is bad too? I should let baby hands yank it all out. Clearly the look of broken beads all over the house from all my earrings and necklaces would be a good idea too…… frumpy mama my ass…..