Last week I read this post, which was entertaining and aggravating because we’ve all been there, it totally sucks when you get stuck next to someone anal on an airplane.

I clicked the link in the post … and when I saw what the link was about I got icky cold shivers and clicked away.

And then I got curious and I clicked back.

Then I put my fingers in my ears and started singing, “LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you!” until Alex looked at me like I was on crack and I realized that it was my EYES putting this information in my brain and not my ears, so all the singing in the world was not going to erase this image.

I mean, people, do what ya gotta do if everyone is up for it, but this ain’t an option in my repertoire. I know, I know, I’m a party pooper.

But I had to give it some thought – WHY is this thought so repellant to me, and it hit me like a brick over my head.

The only parts of my body that are all mine are my Mutt Bowl and my Armpits.

And no one has ever suggested that perhaps I’d like it if Scout got freaky with my pits.

The way I see it, my hair, shoulders, arms, hands, legs and feet all go into taking care of the baby. These parts are pulled on, sucked on, used to carry and used to transport the Kaiser all day long.

The entire world sees my face, and my eyes and ears are tuned into keeping the baby safe all day long.

My breasts feed the baby. When he’s not using them, Scout would like to cuddle them, pretty please.

My stomach housed the baby, and the baby left his mark all over its surface.

My lady bits allowed passage to get the baby into existence and into the world, and now Scout would like them back, pretty please.

So, Mutt Bowl and Armpits it is.

I feel the urge to burst into song.

Dawn TwoShews, and everyone else who feels particularly close to their Mutt Bowl – this one is for you.

M is for Mutt Bowl,

It’s where no one else can see!

M is for Mutt Bowl,

It sets all my to-ots free!

M is for Mutt Bowl,

Wipe front to ba-ack when you pee!

My Mutt Bowl, Mutt Bowl, Mutt Bowl’s

JUST FOR ME!

 

Okay, clever readers, help me bring it on home. Write a verse of your own! Here’s some rhyming help if you need it.