546. You have intestinal issues before you go to sleep that will. not. ahem. resolve.
547. You wake in the morning after 764 baby wake ups.
548. Baby is soaking wet so you take him out of diaper to air dry to prevent diaper rash.
549. Your intestinal issues vow to resolve AT!THIS!EXACT!MOMENT!
550. Baby crawls to you. You notice something on his heel…. oh and his leg … oh and …. oh God.
551. Scatastrophe on the carpet in the bedroom. Big one.
552. Clean up as well as you can.
553. 64.5 minutes later, diaper blow out.
554. Carnage: diaper, diaper cover, brand new onesie proclaiming “my mom is a fox”, yoga pants, restoration hardware bathmat, towel, carpet, tile, baby.
555. Put baby in bath – which he hates – wash baby – get baby out, into new diaper, realize you totally missed the back of his leg b/c it was bent in the tub.
556. Carnage = +1 washcloth.
557. Stand in tank top, bareassed and type this to your friends, baby nearly grabs naked pubes.
17 Comments
Veronica
Laughing so hard. Been there done that honey, up to and including the lunge at the pubes.
Good times.
Veronica’s last blog post..The Big Blog Giveaway
Jenni
Please, some warning next time. I was laughing so hard I almost had a peecatosrophe myself.
Jenni
OK, meant to write “catosropee”
Slaps forehead. Idiot!
Anglophile Football Fanatic
Ewww. Although, NFP is fab for me!
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..My First Weekly Winner
Ree
Oh mah holy hell girlfriend. The Restoration Hardware bathmat got it?
😉
Ree’s last blog post..I Promised You A Blogolution
Kyla
Hey! I know that story. Have you been spying on us?
KayTar is always saying “Can I touch them? Can I touch them BOOBS?” so we’d have to add that into our version, otherwise, it is basically the same. 😉
Kyla’s last blog post..My Best Shot Mission Monday
Kara
Big fans of Mirena here too. Babysitting today for a friend, hoping we don’t have any blowouts cause we are past that stage in everyday life.
Kara’s last blog post..Trading one obsession for another.
The Other Dawn
OMG, I am cracking up. I *totally* heart my Mirena just reading your list.
Except the part where Mothergoosemouse got pregnant using hers. Yikes.
One time, my mom, who wears a nightgown to bed, but… um… not anything else, was babysitting my niece. She was about 2 at the time. Mom was sitting in a chair, and Niece reached up, grabbed a handful of pube, and said,
KITTY!
The Other Dawn’s last blog post..Psst. Again.
witchypoo
I have no clue what Mirena is.
witchypoo’s last blog post..You can see your farts
the dragonfly
laughing…laughing…laughing
No IUD for me, especially since we want to try to get pregnant again after the Sergeant’s deployment…but I faithfully take my pill every morning. Now would *not* be a good time…
the dragonfly’s last blog post..my very own fairy tale: a monday mission
Missy
LOL, we had a mess with the poo on the floor last night here too. I love that “my mom is a fox” onesie!
🙂
Missy’s last blog post..Gross
Flutter
I loves me some mirena, just sayin’
Flutter’s last blog post..Therapy notes: The big guns.
Jenty
LMAO!
And that’s why I’m going to get the Mirena next week 😉
Jenty’s last blog post..10 things I?d buy if I won a million dollars
Sarcastic Mom
LOVE YOU.
And you KNOW I understand.
*kisses*
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Project Support Beauty in Nature
janet
lordy, now i remember why i’m glad my kids are old, old, old! scatastrophes are much less likely at 13.
janet’s last blog post..Bite me
Amy
OH man. I feel you.
And on the pube grab too!
Amy’s last blog post..Food Memories ::
zoe
ohhh nothing like a huge blowout to start your day!!!
zoe’s last blog post..Chicken or Tuna?