… hi ya’ll.
Alex here.
I’m learning my letters this week.
I learned the letter
R.
And then the letter
S.
And then the letter
V.
I feel like my diaper.
and I gave it to my daddy.
and to my mommy.
So today, in the comments, to make my daddy and my mommy happy, please tell a dirty joke, or link to a dirty joke, or a picture … you know, something that will make them laugh …
lovesya.
23 Comments
Veronica
Dirt mud and clay?
Sorry you are feeling shitty, (ha! I didn’t even intend that one) I shall be back later when my funny bone is working.
Veronica’s last blog post..I Can Haz Kittens?
Tiffany
I’ll have to think of a good joke for you…
in the meantime hope the bronchiolitis is short lived.
Thinking of you. RSV sucks.
Tiffany’s last blog post..Up, down, up, down?
Mary Alice
Here’s an Episcopal joke….
Three guys went fishing one weekend. Saturday was terrible, and they caught nothing. They decided to skip church on Sunday and try again. They got out on the boat right after dawn, and in no time they were catching more fish than they ever had in their entire lives. So they started drinking beer early, and by 9:30 or so they were stinking drunk. During a break in the action, one of the guys got to thinking and said to the others, “You know, that wasn’t luck, fellas. Nobody catches that many fish because they’re lucky. That was God blessing us with all the fish we wanted. I don’t know about y’all, but I feel really guilty. We can still make church if we hurry. There’s one just up the road.”
So they motored back to shore, climbed in the pickup, and sped toward church, where they slipped in the back just in time. They participated enthusiastically throughout the whole service. When the fishermen had left, a few of the church’s regulars got to talking. One said, “Who were those guys?” Another said, “I don’t know, but I sat a couple of pews in front of them, and they sing like Methodists.” Another said, “I saw them each drop $100 in the plate. They give like Baptists.” Another one said, “Well I shook hands with them on the way out, and they smell like Episcopalians.”
Muuhhh have a shot of whiskey and feel better Dawn.
Mary Alice’s last blog post..Quit Your Job
Kyla
Oh no. 🙁 KayTar had that at about the same age. Scared the, ahem, “diaper filling”, right out of me! She was taking 55 breaths a minute and retracting. We made an impromptu trip to the Children’s Hospital. This was before we knew we’d one day be frequent fliers there. LOL.
Feel better Alex and family.
Kyla’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: A Girl and her Gee
Cricket
This isn’t dirty, except I feel kind of dirty for laughing so hard at cheerleaders gettig creamed.
http://gigglesugar.com/997665
Cricket’s last blog post..Whispered to Memph all week, “I’m getting you a girlfriend.”
LSM
We, too, lived through RSV with Gym Girl at about six months. It’s scary stuff. I hope Alex is feeling better soon along with his parents!
LSM’s last blog post..Move 2008?Week 4
Natalie
I have no jokes today. It’s a workday and my funny bone doesn’t work on workdays.
I can send you well wishes though. I hope you guys feel better soon.
Natalie’s last blog post..First Kiss
Hydes Like Us
Hey- long time no see. Things have changed around here lately. I like the new header. Sorry to hear about your alphabet troubles– I hope you’re feeling better very soon.
You thought this was going to be a joke…but it’-snot.”
heh.
Hydes Like Us’s last blog post..Pushy? You mean like, pushy?
Ewokmama
Ugh, Jack had that xmas 2006. It’s pretty much the worst thing ever.
I’m not so good with jokes, but it’s pretty funny that I fell back asleep after the alarm went off this morning only to dream that I was trying to stay awake so that I could get up and go to work. 😛
Ewokmama’s last blog post..A baby, a boy and a horse
Ree
Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school Playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. ‘Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane…’
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, ‘Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.’
At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, ‘I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.’
Mommy fainted!
Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
Ree’s last blog post..Another Day When I Send You Away
flutter
rsv sucks the a-s-s.
flutter’s last blog post..Reasons to eat before racquetball
Kara
http://s185.photobucket.com/albums/x148/bedlamaak/JOKES/?action=view¤t=ba94.jpg
Get well soon!
Kara’s last blog post..Trading one obsession for another.
zdoodlebub
What do you call a mushroom with a twelve-inch penis?
A fungi (fun guy) to be with.
It’s better when you tell it – not so funny when you have to spell it out.
Feel betterF!
zdoodlebub’s last blog post..Don’t Let the Door Hit You Where the Good Lord Split You
Audubon Ron
Woman finds a bottle in the cellar. She pulls the cork and out pops a genie.
Genie: You have three wishes. Your wish is my command. However, what ever you wish for, I will also give to your husband seven fold.
Woman: Make me the most beautiful woman in the world.
Genie: Fine but you do realize your husband will be seven times more handsome than you.
Woman: Yeah, okay.
Woman: Wish number two. Make me the richest woman in the world.
Genie: Very well and now your husband is seven times richer than you.
Woman: Third wish, you ready?
Genie: Yep.
Woman: Give me a mild heart attack.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..How We Met
Memarie Lane
2 sperm are swimming around:
sperm 1 asks sperm 2 “how long until we find the egg?”
sperm 2 says “it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s gonna be a long time, we just now passed the esophagus.”
Marie’s last blog post..My Journey to Hell and Back, or: How to Potty Train a Stubborn Child
~Sheryl
There was a man and woman who were married for 20 years. Everynight they would have sex with the lights off. Even on the honeymoon the lights were off.
Ater 20 years, the wife finally decided to turn on the light. She discovered that her husband has been using a dildo on her for the whole time.
She said to him, “Explain the dildo Asshole!!”
He said, ” Explain the kids Bitch!!”
🙂
Hope you feel better soon.
~Sheryl’s last blog post..WTF Wednesday
susiej
I remember once, holding my baby with RSV. He pooped, it ran all the way out of his diaper, through his onesie, out onto my jeans and somehow managed to get all the way through to my underwear. Is that dirty enough?
susiej’s last blog post..No Power
zoe
ohhh. the evil rsv. ava ended up in the hospital with it last year for 5 days. i feel for all of ya!
zoe’s last blog post..Chicken or Tuna?
Sarcastic Mom
Aight. I have some gems ferreted away. I dig this out for you, because I love you so very much, Dawn.
Asspennies
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..I ordered my Life Alert Button today?¢‚Ǩ¬¶
Sarcastic Mom
Also this. Read all of it.
Cannot Find The Damn Server
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..I ordered my Life Alert Button today?¢‚Ǩ¬¶
janet
i’m all out of funny today.
hope you guys feel better soon.
janet’s last blog post..Morning carpool talk — now with bonus material!!
the fruitfemme
Oh friend. . . I am sorry, sorry sorry. . .
Feel better soon.
Here’s the joke (with apologies in advance):
A cell phone walks into a bar and the bartender says “we don’t serve cell phones in here” and the cell phone says “come on, I’ve already been to three bars…no, two bars…no wait, three…four…wait, one bar…”
VDog
Just show Alex the vlogs over and over again. Heh.
Get well soon! MUAH!
VDog’s last blog post..Multitasking