Previously posted April 22, 2007.?Ǭ†

(Dude, don’t taunt a pregnant lady – I’m surprised I wasn’t breathing fire I was so mad.)

Seriously, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m so pissed off about this that I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m convinced Alex will be born with horns.

I hate me, I hate Scout, I hate the baby, the cat has been smart enough to stay away from me so she?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s safe from the hate, I hate the grandparents (all of them. Both of my parents have had ?¢‚Ǩ?ìlovely?¢‚Ǩ¬ù conversations with me today. Serves them right for trying to talk to the savage beast.)

I feel like a fucking circus midget (that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s for Carrie) in a cage at the zoo, what with all the grandparents calling all the GD time. Once a day one of them is on the horn or the email ?¢‚Ǩ?ìjust checking in?¢‚Ǩ¬ù. I swear to God, if I ever lose my mind and decide and this is a good idea to get pregnant ever again, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m not telling the grandparents until the baby decides to show the hell up. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s like they are all afraid we?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll forget to call and tell them. Hate.

Otherwise, Kristen, I change my prior advice – call all the grandparents right now and tell them the docs set your due date back TWO weeks, not just one. I can not save myself, but you can still save yourself.

I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m also considering changing his name to Braxton Hicks instead of Alexander Jakob since that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s apparently his favorite thing in the universe.

Oh, and never fear, intermingled with all the hate is all the guilt that I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m a horrible fucking mother for feeling this way, causing irrepairable damage to my kid before he?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s even born. Never fear.