Not gonna lie. Day 4 was yesterday and it was hard. My body realized I’m not going to be feeding it all the things and revolted in hunger followed by a nap. We went to the races where I was climbing stairs in the humidity and was out of breath and uncomfortable. The voices in my head were all “you could be the one person who never loses weight on AdvoCate”. I was grumpy and snappy and awful and I wanted to feed my feelings with all the things.

But I didn’t. I wanted to but I didn’t. That’s a huge step right there.

I still feel all allergy/flu-ish which sucks. I’m already sick of chicken. I miss butter.

Alex ate pepperoni pizza next to me and I was fine. Didn’t want it. I mean, sure, I would have liked a slice, but there’s this mental shift that has happened where I’m doing this thing and I’m not getting off track.

Of course I should go for a walk today/tonight. I haven’t made it out the door yet. Perhaps I will dig out some weights instead.

The other thing – This is actually coming from a place of love for myself. I’m not disgusted or anything. I do want a few physical changes for my own comfort, and I’d really like bras to fit again, but otherwise – this is for me and it’s about me. I’m grateful that M’Love is totally supportive. Love him.