Ah the AdvoCare cleanse. I farted in front of M’Love more in these last four days than I have in the last four years combined. Still better than overtrusting a pizza roll fart (with catastrophic results), but wow.

Doing a little research, there is Niacin in a lot of the products – so I think I get how they are talking about “toxins” – but Niacin is (maybe) good for clearing the body of cigarette, alcohol, drug remnants (Allegedly Niacin will clear evidence of smoking before one has a blood test for a life insurance police. Allegedly.)

I had another meal that wasn’t perfect Cleanse material – some tacos for Taco Tuesday, but I didn’t eat the tortilla part of the taco.

I learned that even when I’m not making a perfect choice – I’m making a better choice. I may have snacked on way more hummus than I was supposed to at a snack, but I was snacking on hummus and FREAKING CELERY and not hummus and crackers (tasty, tasty Triscuits) or a bag of chips or any other number of things that I would have enjoyed shoving in my face two weeks ago.

I’m not missing coffee, which means I’m not downing calories from creamer every morning. Spark keeps the caffeine headaches away, I only use one a day. There was one day that I used two and I didn’t really benefit from it. Works for me – less money spent on stuff.


There is a Starbucks. The FIRST AND ONLY Starbucks. Opening in my town. Finally. And I was on the cleanse and not going there. I won all the challenges that day.

At end of the Cleanse I am down a pound. There are possible decreases in my waist, hip and thigh measurements.

I LOST AT LEAST TWO INCHES IN MY BOOBS. AMEN AND PRAISE ALL THE THINGS! I can cinch my bras tighter which then secures everything more, which is making the whole weird tired tight chest at the end of the day thing better.

Also the tiny fupar that was developing seems to be less there. Last to go to heck, first to correct, I guess.

I’m still not going for the walks I planned to go on, but I’ve been cleaning the house pretty hard core for 40 minutes a day. I figure that breaking a sweat means exercise, no matter what I’m doing.

Overall I’m pleased with the results of the first ten days. At the very least, it reset some really bad life habits I had gotten into. Day 11 starts the “Max Phase” which is a different set of supplements and some slight diet changes from the cleanse (can have lean beef once a week, some dairy, which is great because I’m hating chicken.)