Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

When the finances hit the fan.

I read something in August or so about a couple who consciously let go of their home because they knew they couldn’t keep up with it and they could choose a life or choose to keep paying faceless mortgage brokers. In August I again paid all my bills and my minimum payments on the credit card and felt all the things you feel when things are tight but not quite tragic. In September.. Read More

The Veil

I woke up this morning talking to Dad. About how he was bigger than life. Knowing that if he were alive, he would still be making mistakes that would keep us apart … me mad, him stubborn. He felt very close. Once I was up, I saw the date. August 16th. He was born 69 years ago today. No wonder he was hanging out … he was waiting for a Happy Birthday. (Attention.. Read More


This one word sums up everything I need to work on. Solution to a messy house? Mindfulness. Solution to my weight? Mindfulness. Solution to my money? Mindfulness. I simply need to stop and focus on what is in front of me. Simple concept. Difficult to do. I have been working on our bedroom, I repainted the closet – getting rid of the paint from a friend who isn’t a friend any more. I.. Read More

What do I call this?

Family legend has it that sometime in the spring of 1948, my grandfather was found in his shop beating a piece of metal with a hammer. He was beating some KKK emblem into something unrecognizable so no one would be able to own this thing of his father’s with pride. Missouri is a difficult place for race. It has been described as a home of covert racism rather than overt racism. (This from.. Read More

This little place of mine …

I’m gonna let it shine… I’m grateful for this place. I haven’t told anyone I’m writing, haven’t posted on Facebook links to these posts, even pretty sure the feed is busted and not going to people who have given a damn in the last eight years. But I’m grateful at the end of the day to have this place I created for myself and to come back to it. I’m grateful that I.. Read More

Hole around my heart?

There is something wrong near my heart and I don’t understand it. When I try to relax, especially when I need to go to sleep, there is this space around my heart that makes me feel uncomfortable. Like if I could massage it and get blood flowing to it would help. I don’t know what is wrong. I can’t stretch it, I can’t breathe it, I can’t fix it. It’s uncomfortable. It almost.. Read More


I think I will have to hashtag them. Two years ago I bought a pile of shorts from the Gap because they were tailored and they fit. They don’t fit any more so I gave them away. I’ve reached that curious point of weight where I haven’t felt terrible until the last two days. Now I actually FEEL terrible. As much from the fact that I feel so terrible I just keep eating.. Read More

How long?

There is this girl. Super special to me. She is made of sunlight. And she is miserable. She’s not made to be miserable, she is made to shine, to glow, and to march to her own music. Her job sucks. It’s a short term suckage, so it won’t be forever, or even much longer in the big picture. I want to tell her to quit, because even though it isn’t that long, it.. Read More

Leggo my Lego

Every summer we (I) spend time getting the Lego kits put back together in an attempt to find the very nice Pottery Barn Kids carpet in the Kids’ room. This is the first summer the Kaiser has been super on board so we are creating a Lego town. All the time with the Legos makes me think of all the things I have seen about Legos and people getting offended over them. Like.. Read More

My warrior, my hero

It’s never been a secret that the Kaiser has preferred his father since birth. This summer brought another round of Love Daddy, Disregard Mommy, that just about sent me to bed, to the bottle and off the deep end. It’s no wonder, really. He and Scout are peas and carrots, meanwhile I’m the mom who puts him on swim team like he wanted and then tells him to Get his ass in the.. Read More

A voice, A face, More than a name

(Names changed so google can’t hurt anyone. If you know the story, you’ll know the story, if you don’t, then you’ll only know my story … which is as it should be.) I grew up in a town called Craigville. My mom went to the college 45 minutes away and Martinburg. When I was 8 years old, a Craigville graduate was raped in a Martinburg parking lot. It was brutal, and violent and.. Read More

For Myself

Since I was ten years old, I said I wanted to be a writer. In middle school I filled journals with things I had written. They didn’t fit into any category I knew of – now I know they were blog posts written in the days before the blog. I spent high school writing for Journalism and Yearbook. I spent time writing stories and not finishing them. I started blogging eight years ago,.. Read More

Stitch Fix #12

Kaiser Mommy's Stitch fix

It will surprise no one who has seen my house this week that I can’t find my cards for Fix 13 or 14. So we will roll on back to 12. Colourworks Elandra Faux Leather Trim Cardigan   I loved how soft this cardigan was, and I loved the color. There was a faux leather trim on it that was more pleather than I was okay with, and I decided that I had.. Read More