After being horribly hot for the last week, it is a sweet treat to drive with a friend with the windows down into the setting sun. The breeze is cool and the mugginess is gone.

The only plan for the day has been to eat everything wanted before going back on the diet n exercise wagon in the morning.so clearly the reason to go for a ride is ice cream.
I miss my Alex. I will miss him tomorrow as well. As I search for a job and work to stock my shop again.

But in this breezy sunset moment, I am unexpectedly happy.

Dear Utah, sorry about the expletive at the end of the ride.

Camera – Flip video.

Vantage point – My cleavage.

I figured out the root of my problems years ago.

I have too much stuff.

Too much stuff means I can’t keep up with cleaning, with organizing, with life.

A friend with a forever cleaned up house observed – “You have too many hobbies and I don’t have any.” Which clearly is why she has a clean house and I so don’t.

I have too much weight – which means I have clothes ranging from 8s to 16s and those take up space. I’m taking up too much space for my own comfort. Last year I realized I didn’t want to take Alex swimming because I would be fat mommy. Which. Sigh. Seriously? I don’t wanna be THAT person. So I’ve put on the swimsuit and the lipstick and the earrings – because that totally distracts from the body yeah?

So I’m gonna work on this – because I want to ditch the too much stuff I don’t so much care about and fill it up with too much FUN! too much JOY! too many cuss words! too many exclamation points!!!!!

This blogging thing makes me a better grown up. I learn lessons without someone having to sit down and school me in how I’m wrong – I learn via watching and the light bulb A-HA moment.

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I had a light bulb moment about friendship and favors about a year ago.

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Back when I started blogging (way back in ought seven) I met Mrs Flinger. She was all cool and together (snort) and awesome. She had a great looking site, lots of experience, and a shiny new job with a web design company.

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I thought, “Ooooo, she’s my buddy, I bet she’d cut me a deal on a great looking site for ME!!!!”

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I never did ask her about it – probably saw something bright and shin….oooo butterfly ….

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ahem.

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Then we were talking about life, and money (the lack of), the money troubles in the Flinger house condo, the pressure of deadlines and people asking for work for free – when she needed paying jobs to keep the family in the black less in the red.

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Ugh. A rock sat in my stomach. The light bulb turned on – and the lamp smacked me upside the head. I’d totally missed the point of friendship in looking out for a deal for myself.

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I wish I would have always thought, “Ooooo, she’s my buddy, I’d love to support her and pay her to build a great looking site for ME!!!!”

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I learned. I got the point. I’m learning to apply that point in my life. I’m learning to support my friends rather than looking for a handout from my friends.

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The hardest person to raise is myself. *shakes head*

(I have a lot of deep thoughts while I’m not sleeping. Big, important, deep thoughts. I don’t know how to share them all yet, but I’m going to try to pare things down to small bits that I can manage.)

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1. Walking. Almost 40 million hits on the goog about Benefits of Walking.

2. Laughing. Just reading the facebook status updates of people makes me all tense and clutchy and stroke feeling. Laughter sets that feeling free and replaces it with a lighter feeling.

3. A clean kitchen. This is my goal for today. A clean kitchen. I will use my kitchen sink as a home base to start and just keep going.

4. Sharing what I have. I gave my birthday money to Anissa. Told her not to spend it all on hookers and blow.

5. Brushing my teeth. Cuz for serious. Wow. Needs to be done – I’m off to do it right now.

xoxoxo

When Scout got home from work yesterday, I congratulated him on making us so boring financially that ABC World News didn’t want to put me on the National News.

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To say he was confused would understate his reaction.

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Heather had called me to see if I would be up for an interview about being middle class – after talking to the lovely woman from ABC World News with Diane Sawyer, lovely woman said we weren’t what she was looking for for the story – before getting off the phone, I gave a shout out on Skype “hey, any of y’all middle class and squeezed?” and Angie was all “UM YEAH!” – so I passed her number to the woman and Angie was on the national news talking about financial struggles in the middle class.

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Angie has a small online store – Good for the Kids – which specializes in finding educational items and toys that are … good for the kids. I’ve posted about doing all my Christmas shopping in one place before. I still have a pretty well stocked present closet from my shopping trips there. I feel good about what I buy from Angie, and I feel even better that I’ve helped a person I have a relationship with, and not just a big box store. From the comments on the post, others are feeling that too.

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(*yes I know that people work in big box stores too, but those people didn’t hold my hand while I wrote a post the night my dad died – Angie did* (pwd protected, just ask for the pwd – you aren’t the reason it’s protected.))

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While Scout and I may be comfy, unsqueezed middle class, I do like to pay attention to where our money goes. I don’t buy things for the sake of buying things. (I really liked the Team Anissa tshirts – but I realized don’t wear crew neck tshirts, for example.)

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There are less dollars to go around – so I figure I better make damn sure that where I’m giving my dollars is what and who I want to support. Slowly but surely I am figuring out how I can get the things I like (oh that I really, really like) and know that my dollars are directly helping people I have a relationship with.

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I may not have a local main street in my town where I can walk and browse and talk to shopkeepers who are my friends, but I have bookmarks all through my browser of a virtual main street where I can wander and get things I like from people I love. (And even help out the USPS a lot of the time!)

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Oh yes, that list with a fancy button are coming!

- Realize some women are BITCHEZ. They just are. Their moms and sisters are probably BITCHEZ too. Also? Their friends. Like speaks to like and BITCHEZ hang tight. Think of these BITCHEZ like a rank, wet fart. Unavoidable and best to avoid being in their path.

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- Grooming counts dude. If I look at my 5 fave mommy bloggers – not a one of them presents as an uggo. I’m not talking imitating plastic surgery Barbie and spending hours in front of a mirror. Soap and water go a long way. Especially when choosing profile pictures. Sloth is one of the 7 deadlies peeps.

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- Have some dayum FUN! Srsly people. Chances are, this is not the job that is providing the finances for your food and shelter. So CHILLAX with the awards, memes, retweets, commenting, replying to comments and for the love of Pete – “mark all as read” is your FRIEND.

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- Ask questions. Want to know how to get some nifty widget in your sidebar? Make a button? Change a template? Figure advertising? Get threaded comments? ASK. Even the fucking BITCHEZ tend to answer questions when asked. People like to feel like experts. I’m horrid at reading blogs, replying to comments and all that – but when someone emails me and asks a question – I *tend* to sit down right then and answer it. (Not that I’m hot shit. Trust me.)

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Run the other way from DRAMA! I’ll give someone a pass the first time they lose their shit on Twitter. Twice – ehhhh – anything after that and we’re back to the rank fart theory.

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No mall hair. Now really this is a rule for life and not just mommy blogging. This was okay on a hot teenager in the 80s ….

(click photo for source)

. . .but NO MORE MALL BANGS. It’s been 20 years – no more curling bangs backward onto your head.

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No one puts Baby in a corner. You have all this pain and all these feelings, and nobody’s really paying attention. Every single person . . . is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones, the popular ones, the guys that pick on you. Everyone. Okay. That’s totally a quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy is talking to Jonathan in the clock tower. Still works though. Get yourself out of the corner. Goes back to having fun.

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To sum up. Have fun in spite of the BITCHEZ in the DRAMA, remember to Shower your non 80s hair, while asking questions, and hiding in the corner is NOT FUN.

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ps

HAVE FUN!

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(conversation between friends joined already in progress)

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Miss Piggy: back to my other question – did you try the ‘better than chocolate‘ vibrator for women?

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Janice: I did . . . not strong enough . . . but overall works

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Miss Piggy: HATE IT

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Janice: HAHAHHAA

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Janice: like the ergonomics of it

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Miss Piggy: yeah, the ergonomics are nice, that’s why I wanted to try it. thought it would fit nicely between Kermit and I. Y’know what I’m sayin’.

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Miss Piggy: but any vibrator that i have to pull out the fucking manual on

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Janice: BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

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Janice: i think BETTER than chocolate is an overstatement

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Miss Piggy: better than a poke in the eye with a sharp fuckin stick

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Miss Piggy: I even turned that bitch around to try to stimulate more *ahem* areas

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Miss Piggy: I tried with with THREE sets of batteries #FAIL

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At this point, Miss Piggy dissolves into tears and starts throwing things.

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The End.

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