I’m going through old journals. I have quotes written in them, my own thoughts, my plans. This particular one is over ten years old.
I have two movie quotes my friend Ty shared with me:
Q: Are you in love?
A: I have memorized his phone number, I do not share his toothbrush, it’s somewhere in between.
(I believe it’s from Things to do in Denver when You’re Dead)
The next one I’ve used as a basis for my partners – It meshed well with what I always really thought, it was just phrased prettier
Make a list of the ten things you hold most dear. You never find someone to fill all ten, but if you fill five or six, you’ve done well.”
See. I don’t know about that anymore. Why not expect all ten? Are we selling ourselves and our potential relationships short by just assuming?
In any case. I have a list dated May 20, 2001 that I thought I’d share for giggles. 🙂 Oh what that girl thought she knew. Oh how I wonder what I will think in 2021 of the girl I am now.
Things I Hold Most Dear
Home (I am a daughter of Missouri)
Writing – being able to share (2001 = preblogging wth?)
Camp friends (singing, talking, support, love of a good float trip)
Not being pushed away
Ability to make it through the day without a drink or a toke
Having goals – wanting to do something
9-5 M-F regular schedule
Whistle or sing around the house
Make my heart beat faster
Wants kids/good with kids
A dance partner
Turns off the alarm on the first ring
That sharp haircut at the back of the neck
September 4, 2001 (just before the whole damn world changed)
I learned I need a man I can adore, and I have to be smart enough that I make sure he matches the list and is good to me.
December 10, 2001
I learned I deserve a man who adores me too.
I wonder how I got so frickin’ lost along the way – but I know the answer. I did all that work on looking out at what I wanted and I never considered myself. Adoring myself. Nothing in there about choosing joy no matter what.
So if ya need me, I’ll be over here jumpin’ back and kissing myself 🙂
Hubba, hubba! Smooches for yourself! Love it! You’re doing great, my friend. And I referenced you in my blog tonight. 😉 Joy!!
Ah, oneself and joy. I’ve had that driven home a bit more in the last week, and succeeded at choosing joy–fuck moping, I’m gonna enjoy myself as much as possible!
(I got hurt. Stitches were required.)
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