Yesterday I was at rock bottom. I read a facebook link, beautifully written, by a mother stepping out of her rock bottom of the bottle. I was ripped out of my link with her at her rock bottom when she mentioned her husband’s name. Which is the same as the Dude’s. (But really, if you want to read something courageous and awesome – read what Heather wrote. I am merely.. Read More
Rock. Fucking. Bottom.
I have made it through Lent without any fast food. Unless you count the coffee that the Dude brought me and another that I bought. I choose to not count it. I think my fast food avoidance has net me a total weight loss of … a pound. So that’s frustrating. I’ve had a job I have loved. Adored. And done really good at. You know the feeling of satisfaction.. Read More
Retrospective
Four years ago today: I started this blog. Three years ago today: My Dad died. (email me for the pwd, or leave a comment below) Two years ago today: I coped with the loss of my dad. One year ago today: I was married to Scout, staying at home with Alex, failing as a housewife, and settled into life for the next 50 years. Today: I am living in a.. Read More
A mere 175 THOUSAND calories . . .
My goal is to lose 50 pounds by February 24, 2012. Which will be my . . . thirty . . . . uh . . . next birthday. 3500 calories to a pound. 50 pounds. 175000 calories to burn. I bought new gym shorts (XL), shirt (mens L) and shoes. I got on the scale at 188.4 today. I bought broccoli and vitamin C. I made a smoothie. I.. Read More
The other rock bottom
(This is a compensated post, but it is on topic from what I’ve been talking about this week.) My second year of teaching was awful. It was also my first year married to Scout. We were unhappy in our jobs and unable to be happy about anything else. I’d been feeling the stirrings of depression. The claws sinking into my life. The corners of the house becoming more and more.. Read More
I set fire to my rope and from my ashes I rose
I wallowed in my depression pity party. I’m okay with the wallowing. I’m better with the fact that when the wallowing was turning to tears I said, “Fuck this. If it’s broken, crying won’t fix it. If it’s actually worth all this fuss then there is no need to cry.” I got up today and took the damn pill. I got a card yesterday. It contained 4 magic words. “U.. Read More
The Rope
My rope is short and frayed. I know I should tie a knot and hang on. But I’m tired. Tired of trying so hard. Trying so smart. Of giving my heart unconditionally. Scared of conditions. To lighten the mood, I have a book about suicide that I’m supposed to read for an upcoming post about depression. Talk about fitting. The depression part. Not the suicide part. Like I have the.. Read More
The Year Without Presents
It’s the last night of Christmas Break. I’m sitting here pondering the presents I received. I have wracked my brain and I believe I opened exactly one present – from the Dude’s grandma. A little note set and some lotion. Clearly a grandma present and clearly, “This girl’s gotta get a present if she’s coming to my home for a present swap” kind of gift. I made all the presents.. Read More
Sick of It
This is a whiny post. aka <whine> (for Flinger) You have been warned. I’m sick of the fatness. (185.6) I’m sick of the lazy. (See above re: the fatness) I’m sick of this fight to be loved. I’m sick of the three year old tantrums. I’m sick of half assing the blog. I’m sick of half assing the fiber arts store. I want focus. I want motivation. I want love… Read More
Fisher-Price your Christmas?
(Yes, I was compensated to write this post. Disclosure is power. Or is that knowledge?) Looking for potentially free presents? Fisher-Price has created the BigFoot Moods app for Facebook. Click that link, select your BigFoot and it posts a little blurb to your stream. You can also enter to win a free BigFoot. (A toy, not an actual full sized sasquatch that will leave hair in the tub and pee.. Read More
Sometimes I feel like a whore
So, I’m getting my head back in the game after the last several months of exploding my life. I’m still working on getting a job – I’ve been fighting red tape of certification since before Labor Day. I did actually make it into a classroom last Friday. I got the estimate on my continuing coverage health insurance (I was planning to have a job with insurance – but see above,.. Read More
Dreading little changes
(This post is the first I’ve written about this. And yes, I talk a little about it and then head into a product review. Forgive me. Talking about it at all is hard, and this review opportunity was an icebreaker for me to begin writing to you about the last few months.) So. You might have heard by now that Scout and I are almost not married anymore. As in,.. Read More
Yarn for Sale – September 20th
HANDSPUN 1 – Taken by Maria Blues and Greens spindle spun and plied with green thread. Mixed fibers from the Phat Fiber “Scallywags” box. 77 yards. $9 (includes shipping) HANDSPUN 2 Puddingstone – purchased from River’s Edge Fiber Arts – Hand dyed 70% SW Merino/15% Seacell/15% Banana. 178 yards spindle spun and plied with white thread. $50 including shipping. HANDSPUN 3 Moonbeams from Moonwood Farm! Supersoft, beautiful, sparkly. 78 yards.. Read More