Kaiser Mommy

I am filled to the brim with boogers. That, my friends is as fine an introduction to me as you can possibly ask for. The culmination of this current illness has been a loud, barking cough and a rumbling wheezing in my chest, reminiscent of a Ford Fairlane. Oh and also? I LOOK TOTALLY HOT. Red nose? check Peeling skin on the red nose? check Poofy eyes? check Bruised ribs.. Read More

Happy, happy day! Because today is potluck day. Not just any potluck day, but a super secret potluck in a very special location. Super secret because… *deep announcer voice* The unsuspecting people visiting June Cleaver Nirvana think THEY are at the REAL potluck. And very special location because… *deep announcer voice* But behind their backs Holly has moved the REAL potluck to KaiserAlex and has thrown them a faux-potluck. Shhh…it’s.. Read More

Lets get this outta the way first. Dawn asked me to come and blog sit, despite the fact that I am a foul mouthed shoe whoring AUSTRALIAN. Yeah, you don’t get much more out there than that. So given the opportunity to flagellate someone else’s blog is well, freaking sweet baby. Will try to keep my potty mouth in check. Oh and introduce myself. Yeah, I always forget that bit… Read More

Week Nineteen of Lotus?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ weekly winners meme. Click the link to see more participants!   We bought Alex’s new carseat, and thanks to Jen, we saved 80 bucks on it. Whoo! Forbes and Mrs. Forbes took advantage of it and got theirs on sale too! Thanks Jen! ?Ǭ†But I gotta ask. What is “ass travel for children”? ?Ǭ† Next up, apparently my ass is moving into my boobs and I.. Read More

So, I decided to go all nutty and send love and jewelry to each of the four participants from the last challenge. So to LSM,?Ǭ† tpgoddess, Grandy and Sandy (Momisodes), shoot me an email at dawn at kaiseralex dot com and we’ll talk springy bling 🙂 With travel the next couple of weeks, I’m gonna set Showin’ off on haitus for a weeks. I’ll be back with ideas soon though… Read More

(clickin?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ the logo may take you to more haikus)   crazy ass week ahead five states, sadly nothing new lots of fam to see   there’s dirty house mom dad and the horrible rat but new baby too!   at dial ups mercy i will be. while my hubs is paying for boobie   (yes, scout has a stag party to plan. i’m helping the dirty old man)   my.. Read More

Alex babbled mama and dadad yesterday. I know it’s just a fluke, but he’s babbling them, and it’s really nice to hear. Even if I do have to sit back and go ,”omgwtf I’M the MOM.” I wonder what his first words will be. I wonder exactly what my first words were. I don’t know for sure because there are two versions to the story. Version 1. We lived over.. Read More

I see the cool kids (Redneck Mommy, Mrs. Flinger, OTJ) are doing it and I want in. I think it originated with Sweetney, but I’m not sure, I’m just jumping in. (the fact I love the word “truthiness” also a plus here) I was planning to do this, then got up Saturday morning and realized my hair had morphed into the most awesometastic style ever created by a pillow, and.. Read More

Deacon: Alex sounds just like Little Deacon 1 Me: I don’t know how we ended up with such stubborn kids Deacon: Must be from our spouses Me: Clearly they didn’t get it from you and I At this point I’m pretty sure our respective spouses had rendered themselves blind from the excessive eyerolling. Which is silly, cuz we aren’t stubborn. This conversation from siblings who got in a huge disagreement.. Read More

I was so funny this week that Psychicgeek gave me her Peep of the Week award for a comment I made on her blog! I won $50 to Good for the Kids! I spent it well and THEN I went and spent more so that Lotus could get some financial love from Alex’s birthday present. Want to give Lotus love??Ǭ† Click here for how to help. And finally, I’m looking.. Read More

Oh sweet readers. I’m so glad I told you TWO weeks ago that I was going to paint my toes and get my feet ready for summer. Don’t you just know I painted them at 9pm on Friday night? I can at least say that I have improved the status of my feet, thanks to this challenge. What are you doing to get ready for the season change? (Click the.. Read More

(clickin?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ the logo may take you to more haikus)   once upon a time i would sprawl in bed with my breasts all hanging out     used to be signal to scout for lovin’, now it’s just milk for alex