Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

Haunted (subtitle: Where I hit publish after writing a dream)

I dreamed about you last night. It was wartime and we were together and in danger. We narrowly escaped being put in the rooms where the gas was thrown and the yellow-green explosion came up from below. It was cold but not bitterly so. We were rounded up with others and as we waited for the soldiers to get to us, I looked at you directly, saying, “I love you”.. Read More

For she was yours

Marty posted a photo of Susan Niebur – age 15. Then she posted a photo of both of them, age high school, on facebook. Early 90s, post 80s hairspray, Cindy Crawford eyebrows, church retreat, a stunningly familiar lack of cool. (note the word “familiar” as in “like me lookin in a mirror”) I thought I was worrying about Susan because of her awesomeness (which I was). I thought I was.. Read More

Goodnight Moonlight Ladies

I have an iTunes playlist that is labelled simply “camp”. I could name a hundred people who would know exactly what to look for in that list – Indigo Girls, James Taylor, Styx …. Those same people know the importance of the phrases “Polar Bears”, “The Bell”, “Aunt Jean”, “Three Tiered Dress”, “PnL”, “Hey Jean, What’s the temperature?”, “Wolf Spider”, “Blue Ball”, “Whats the chances”, “So there I was” …… Read More

So there I was . . .

Disclaimer: If you have a weak stomach – do not read. If you would ever like to see me naked – do not read if grossness would change your mind.   Anyway. I threw up. Easy as can be. None of that staring into the porcelain God misery waiting for the gagging to start. I spit a bit and realized how much better my stomach felt. Then I realized I.. Read More

January 7, 2012

alex – that huffing around in protest of bedtime would have been more intimidating if you hadn’t come back in for your purple bear that smells like lavender. Love mommy.  

January 5, 2012

My kid is in the safe seat for telling another kid to “build the f***ing house” how is your day? Chrisy: Alex or a kid in your class? Dawn: Oh this is MY child. Audrey: Well, maybe the other kid should have just built the f***ing house. AJ: Seriously!!! LMAO!! Lindsey: When its your kid, it isn’t quite as funny as when it is someone elses. I hate to say I got a.. Read More

January 3, 2012

Alex woke up liking me again. Got 2 file reviews done. Took care of a piece of business. Built a Lego train with Alex. Currently creating snarky awesome texts with the west coast cracker. Good day. Today’s genealogy funny: Under cause of death “Dropped Dead” (Granted, he WAS 96, but still.) I will be adding Lego expert to my resume. I am now an expert at 9 MAP power standards… Read More

January 2, 2012

958am Heading out for Illinois to get Alex. 5 hours in the car. 247pm backass illinois, waiting on alex. 743pm “Mommy, I like Missouri and Kentucky, but I don’t like you, only Daddy.” Punk Ass Punk Child of Mine. Just Now. Comments from the above: Lori LAhhhh, kids. Kris K ugh…I’m sorry. Dawn Exactly 🙂 my comment is a solid “thank you for trusting me enough to tell me how you feel”.. Read More

January 1, 2012

Day 1 – had the windows open BECAUSE I COULD – finished a book (#6 for the break) – and tomorrow I go get AlexCat. I call this a GOOD DAY. (cc Megan Hook)   Today’s genealogy funny. “Usual Occupation: Vibrator Operator”   67 degrees and sunny on New Years Eve – 43 degrees and, I think, raining now. I *love* Missouri!    

What I Have Learned About Me and Men and Relationships

1. If he says, “I’m not sure you are the one,” I shouldn’t try to convince him otherwise. 2. If the relationship has to be secret, it shouldn’t exist. 3. If he says he “can’t” shake off a girl, it’s because he doesn’t want to. If my gut is pinging, I should listen. 4. I can tell a lot about a man by his offspring. 5. If I try to.. Read More

A Bunch of Bloggers Who Have Loved Me

This list is not all inclusive. This list is not exclusive. It is purposefully not in any particular order. It’s me giving back some love to those who have loved me well this year. Thank You.   Amanda Magee – The Wink – http://amandamagee.com She inspires me. She supports me. She sends me love. She never, ever stops cheering for me. Mishelle Lane – Secret Agent Mama – http://secretagentmama.com/ Hot photos.. Read More

Necessary Evil

If I tell you I am scared Will you tell me it is nothing? Or will you share with me a time you were scared? Will you gaslight me? Or will you hear me? Will you tell me it’s no big deal? Or will you tell me you will be here when I am done? Will you look away, not wanting to see me? Or will you stand with me?.. Read More

This isn’t our grandmas’ world

More than a decade ago, I set out to write a book. I had a concept – “Becoming Good Women” – it was based on the idea that my grandmothers were these very good women, and how would my generation grow to be good women as well? I was *just* wise enough to realize that my fresh out of college self wouldn’t really have a clue for a long time.. Read More